Category Archives: Mediocre

1995, Abduction, Black humor, Book Review, Crime, Gangs, Love Story, Marital Infidelity, Mediocre, Nothing special, Rape, Sex Scenes, Sports, Vulgar, Witty dialog

Deal Breaker (1995) [Book Review]

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From Wikipedia:

Harlan Coben (born January 4, 1962) is an American author of mystery novels and thrillers. The plots of his novels often involve the resurfacing of unresolved or misinterpreted events in the past (such as murders, fatal accidents, etc.) and often have multiple plot twists. Both series of Coben’s books are set in and around New York and New Jersey, and some of the supporting characters in the two series have appeared in both.

If you are looking for wisecracks and funny repartee, go no farther. If you are looking for something a bit more serious, well-crafted, and original then look elsewhere. This lightweight book is the first of the Myron Bolitar series and is a fun read but nothing special.

Myron Bolitar is a former athlete and current sports agent. One of his clients, a football player named Christian, becomes associated with the disappearance of Christian’s girlfriend. In order to save Christian’s career (and his own commissions) Myron investigates the crime with the help of his very eccentric and somewhat unscrupulous quasi-partner Win.

Expect to encounter murder, pornography, gangsters, sex scenes, adultery, and more. In other words, expect to find what you usually find in somewhat mediocre crime novels.

2013, Acceptable for children, Alzheimer's disease, B-movie, Could Be Sad, Drugs, Dysfunctional Lives, Father-son relations, Feel Good For All, Mediocre, Melodrama, Optimistic, Plot Twist, Quiet

Straight A’s (2013)

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From Netflix:

Seeking redemption, family outcast Scott returns to his hometown, only to throw everyone’s lives into disarray. It’s particularly troubling for his sister-in-law, who was once his high school sweetheart.

Give this “Straight A’s” a rating of a Straight B.

However, it is (except possibly for many uses of the F-Word) a feel-good film suitable for children. Since it was a 2013 film made immediately available for Netflix streaming, you might suspect this film is not Oscar material.

Sorry, but for me Anna Paquin will always be Sookie Stackhouse from that TV vampire-fest “True Blood”. Ryan Phillipe played Louis Roulet in “The Lincoln Lawyer“.

There is nothing really wrong with this predictable melodrama except for its mediocrity. In fact, if you are watching while doing something else constructive, this is not a bad diversion.

2013, Car Chase, Crime, Crude Talk, Frenetic, Gangs, Mediocre, Mixed Martial Arts, Nothing special, Revenge, Violent

Parker (2013)

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From Netflix:

Parker is a thief who lives by a personal code of ethics: Don’t steal from people who can’t afford it, and don’t hurt people who don’t deserve it. But when his crew double-crosses him, Parker teams up with an unlikely partner to even the score.

If you like Jason Statham then you will like this film since it is pretty much like all his other films: much violent action, unconvincing romantic touches, and an amoral philosophy.

This last note bothered me: the film for the most part condones and makes attractive stealing and killing. “Don’t steal from people who can’t afford it, and don’t hurt people who don’t deserve it.” What nonsense! It is OK to kill crooks because they are nasty people. It is OK to steal jewelry from other crooks have already stolen the jewelry – but wait: did not that jewelry originally belong to someone? At least Jennifer Lopez gets to live happily ever after with the proceeds from selling those stolen gems.

Is there something wrong with Nick Nolte’s throat ?

If you are not a solid Jason Statham fan, don’t bother with this film.

2011, Acceptable for children, British, Conspiracy, Fantasy, Flirting, Made For TV, Mediocre, Sci-Fi, Supernatural, TV Series, Violent

The Outcasts (2011)

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From NetFlix:

Set in 2040, this BBC sci-fi drama focuses on the residents of the frontier town of Forthaven on the planet Carpathia — a region colonized by a hardy group of settlers who rocketed away from Earth in the wake of war and nuclear devastation.

Because one of the actors in this British Sci-fi TV series is Hermione Norris (who plays Stella Isen) I started to watch “The Outcasts”. Ms. Norris was one of the main actors in the British TV series MI-5.

Although this series is nothing special, the plot twisted enough to keep me watching. Some characters were interesting, for example

  • Hermione Norris offers a stiking appearance. She can also act.
  • Eric Mabius as Julius Berger plays a wonderfully insidious villain arrived from Earth and plots to take over Forthaven. He plays Peter Caldwell in the successful American TV series “Scandal”.
  • Liam Cunningham played Ser Davos Seaworth in “Game of Thrones”> In “Outcasts” he is the current president of Forthaven and the target of Julius Berger’s schemes.

If cloned humans, escape from a failed planet Earth, a mysterious new planet Carpathia, political maneuvering, love affairs (open or secret), and huge dust storms interest you, then give this 8-episode series a try.

2005, Conspiracy, Made For TV, Mediocre, Political Suspense, Suspense, Violent

Archangel (2005)

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From NetFlix:

After a visit from a Stalinist-era bodyguard who claims to have stolen a personal notebook belonging to Joseph Stalin, radical historian Fluke Kelso digs deeper to prove its existence in this made-for-TV thriller.

Daniel Craig plays the historian Fluke Kelso (rhymes with “so-so”) in this mildly acceptable political thriller. Expect scuffles in alleys, political assassinations, cabins in the woods, and lots of shooting. There is no sex whatsoever.

If there is an underlying and often repeated theme it is this: about 30 million Russions pine for the return of such a wonderful leader as Joseph Stalin. Never mind that he murdered somewhere between 20 million and 30 million people directly or indirectly (e.g. purposeful famines). There is a discussion of just how many deaths are attributable to Stalin in the Wikipedia article. One of Stalin’s biggest fans is Putin.

You can do better than to watch this “nothing special” TV film.

2012, B-movie, Car Chase, Conspiracy, Could be boring, Mayhem, Mediocre, Sci-Fi, Violent

Total Recall (2012)

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FromNetFlix:

Bursting with mind-blowing action sequences and spectacular visual effects, Colin Farrell stars as Douglas Quaid, a man on the run after a mind-bending procedure at Rekall goes horribly wrong. Co-starring Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel.

As much as I hate to say it, I preferred the 1990 version by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Granted the special effects of this 2012 version with Colin Farrell were worth seeing. But that is just about all you get. Chase follows chase. Shooting follow shooting. You have already seen this film in different disguises many times before.

Thank goodness Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel wore different outfits. Bad guys always wear black. Otherwise the two women were hard to differentiate. Is it me, or do many of today’s young female stars tend to look alike? You could say the same for the young men.

Good luck understanding the many sequences in which our hero knows just what button to push or which lever to pull. Just enjoy the ride.

Ho-hum. If you enjoy mayhem, this is the film for you.

2011, Acceptable Trash, B-movie, Frenetic, Horror, Imperfect, Mayhem, Mediocre, Occasional gore, Plot Twist, Satirical ultra-violence, Sex Scenes, Suspense, Unusual, Violent, Zombies

The Cabin In The Woods (2011)

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From NetFlix:

In this twisted thriller from Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard, five friends arrive at a secluded cabin with clear instructions for their anticipated mountain getaway. But when the rigid rules are broken, punishment is swift — and everyone will pay. Kristen Connolly, Jesse Williams, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Chris Hemsworth and Brian J. White star with Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford in this surprising spin on a classic horror setup.

At some point while watching this acceptable piece of horror trash you will probably wake up and say “This is really stupid”. But hold on … Granted that I do not watch many horror films, as in “seen one, seen all of them”, this almost-stinker is probably one of the most original horror flicks I have seen. Following the usual script of “a bunch of friends travel together to a secluded location when all of a sudden …” in fact ALL OF A SUDDEN the film takes an unexpected turn which caused me to say “Wait a minute: is this really a horror film or some sort of a satiric prank?” Lo and behold there stand Richard Jenkins (the father ghost in “Six Feet Under”) and Bradley Whitford (Josh Lyman in “The West Wing”) in a different setting. You will spend the rest of the film trying to figure out what is happening. Along the way you get to see the usual assemblage of zombies, slashers, creepy monsters, nightmares come to life, etc. That part (the ghoul parade) is the ho-hum part. Rather the interesting part is the juxtaposition of two seemingly disparate story threads. In addition, the dialog is tongue-in-cheek and sometimes funny.

Sigourney Weaver must really need the money. Her walk-on towards the end of the story is ludicrous. In fact, the hypothesis of the entire film is ludicrous. Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford must also be desperate for acting work. Chris Hemsworth plays Chris Hemsworth.

Because I am retired, I can waste the time watching this silly but somehow intriguing farce. Can you afford to waste your time?

2010, Feel Good Not For Children, Imperfect, Love Story, Marital Infidelity, Mediocre, Quiet, Sex Scenes, Slow

Last Night (2010)

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From NetFlix:

During an evening apart, married couple Joanna and Michael encounter tempting opportunities to cheat on each other: Michael spends time on a business trip with his sexy colleague, Laura, while Joanna crosses paths with a former flame, Alex.

Imagine a film in the 21st century about marital fidelity! In fact, it was a pleasure watching the subject being taken seriously. Unfortunately the writing at times was either stilted or just plain amateurish.

Keira Knightley is beautiful (and possible anorexic) and reminds me of young Audrey Hepburn. Her smile sometimes seems to me somewhat less than genuine.

Sam Worthington projected an air of uncertainty that I found realistic and appealing. In addition his remorse towards the end of the film was well-done. He keeps his Australian accent during the film.

Alex is played by Guillaume Canet, a French heart-throb.

How realistic the scenes between Knightley and Canet were (they spend the night sleeping together fully clothed) I cannot say.

Although I give the film a “B+”, it was an adult feel-good, something increasingly rare these days.

2005, Conspiracy, Frenetic, Mediocre, Suspense, Violent

Red Eye (2005)

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From NetFlix:

On a red-eye flight bound for Miami, Lisa learns that a fellow passenger has plans to murder the deputy secretary of Homeland Security — and that he wants to use her as part of the plot.

Cillian Murphy (his first name is pronounced “Killian” with a hard “K”) has those cold steel grey eyes that make him a perfect candidate to play a sociopath on a mission. Rachel McAdams is our Super Woman: beautiful, intelligent, friendly, determined, and a real fighter. Watching nasty Cillian ensnare our Rachel, especially as she understands bit by bit what is happening, is well-done. In fact, for me the best part of the film was that first part in the airplane in which the two play a game of one-upmanship. After she flees the airplane the rest of the plot is something that you have already seen in other films. Still, as in most suspense films, you have to see how it all turns out.

Give it a B. Not a total waste of time.

1999, Acceptable Trash, AIDS, B-movie, Basically Sad, Crude Talk, Disturbing Image, Dysfunctional Lives, Explicit sex, Gay theme, Gloomy, Imperfect, Love Story, Mediocre, Sex Scenes, Unusual

The Velocity of Gary (1999)

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From NetFlix:

Though they’re rivals for the love of a bisexual porn star named Valentino, an aimless hustler and a volcanic waitress must find a way to set aside their differences as Valentino gradually succumbs to the AIDs virus.

If you are a Vincent D’Onofrio fan, then you are already used to abnormal behavior. In this poorly written film you get to see known stars at an early stage in their careers: VinceD’Onofrio (“Law and Order: Criminal Intent”), Thomas Jane (“Hung”), Salma Hayek (“Desperado”), and Ethan Hawke (“Gattaca”).

This review of a poor film is NOT a recommendation. But if you really want to see D’Onofrio and Jane engaging in French kissing, be my guest. Who would have thought?