Category Archives: Mediocre

2019, Acorn TV, Amusing banter, Australian Detective, Boarding school, Clever Assistant, Cooking and food, Failing Marriage, Forensics, Interest in cats, Marital Infidelity, Mediocre, Murder by poison, Murder Investigation, NOT violent, Nothing special, Revenge, Unhappy Marriage, Witty dialog

My Life Is Murder (2019)

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From IMDB:

My Life is Murder follows the adventures of fearless private investigator Alexa Crowe, who solves the most baffling crimes as well as coping with the frustrations of everyday life.

From Acorn TV you can stream the 10 episodes (the 11th episode is just a bonus cast interview) of this (Melbourne) Australian crime series. Each episode lasts about 43 minutes.

Lucy Lawless (Xena: Warrior Princess) plays Alexa Crowe as a retired cop who cannot seem to stop solving crime. Each story begins with DI Keiran Hussey bringing a closed but dubious case to her attention.  Madison Feliciano is her smart and sassy assistant who is very good at not always legal research.

Just a lightweight series of who-done-it stories that is easy to watch.

 

2020, Acceptable for teenagers, Crime, Detective, Greed, Lawyers, Mediocre, Mildly Suspenseful, Murder, Murder Investigation, Netflix Streaming, Nothing special, Occasionaly violent, Plot Twist, Senior citizens

Dangerous Lies (2020)

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From IMDB:

When a wealthy elderly man dies and unexpectedly leaves his estate to his new caregiver, she’s drawn into a web of deception and murder. If she’s going to survive, she’ll have to question everyone’s motives – even the people she loves.

From Netflix you can stream this 1 hour 37 minute complete film.

“Ordinary”, “mediocre” are a few adjectives that seem to describe this almost-thriller.  As the story unfolds we begin to question the precipitous behavior of Katie’s husband Adam. Eventually that behavior veers into dishonesty.

As far as actors go, it may be worth mentioning the following:

Nothing Special!

2020, Acceptable for teenagers, Agatha Christie, Amazon Prime, Ambiguous Conclusion, British, British Mystery Series, Confusing Plot, Contract Killing, Detective, Extramarital Affair, Failing Marriage, Imperfect, Marital Infidelity, Mediocre, Murder Investigation, Plot twists, Psychological Thriller, Small British village, Witchcraft

The Pale Horse (2020)

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From IMDB:

Is a trio of witches responsible for a series of sudden deaths or is there a rational explanation?

From Amazon Prime you can stream both hour-long episodes of this mystery story supposedly based on a story by Agatha Christie.

But don’t bother with this adaptation. Thank to a warning found in IMDB:

Sarah Phelps “version” is a complete mess. The production has an excellent cast including Rufus Sewell, who is magnificent as usual. The set design and costumes are top notch and even the cinematography and music are good, but…

Sarah Phelp’s story, script and directing are terrible. She makes an utter train wreck out of the original story and what’s left makes no sense at all. I can only hope that Sarah Phelps writes and creates her own scripts for future projects as she has no talent adapting existing stories.

Much of what the reviewer says rings true. Oddly enough I enjoyed watching what is essentially a good production. Indeed Rufus Sewell is very good.  But the ending left me confused.

If you are interested, read the Wikipedia account of the novel where you will see that there is very little in common with the two versions.

Skip this unfortunately watchable mess.

2019, Acceptable for teenagers, Bad Acting, Barely Acceptable Trash, Beautiful Seaside Town, Blackmail, Bloody scenes, Career Competition, Chick Flick, Child Molestation, Contract Killing, Contract Maiming, Corny, Corruption, Dancing, Detective, Drama, Drug Dealers, Drugs, Eccentric cast of characters, Ends in Cliff Hanger, Ethical struggles, False Imprisonment, Family Conflict, Fist Fight, Frame someone for a crime, Friendship, Gangs, Gay Bashing, Gay theme, Improbable details, Latino Culture, Love Story, Male Prostitutes, Mediocre, Melodrama, Mental Illness, Mother-son relations, Motorcycles, Murder, Murder Investigation, Must suspend disbelief, Netflix Streaming, Nudity, Personal Betrayal, Plot twists, Police Corruption, Police cover-up, Police Politics, Rape, Revenge, Ridiculous plot, Soap Opera, Sometimes seems silly, Somewhat trashy, Spanish, Telenovela, Uncle-Nephew relations, Unjust crime conviction, Various Romances, Violent

Toy Boy (2019)

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From Netflix:

A stripper sets out to prove his innocence for a crime he didn’t commit and was unjustly incarcerated for seven years earlier.

From Netflix you can stream the 13 episodes (each episode about 70 minutes) of this Spanish telenovela.  Many spoken languages and caption languages are available.

Spanish telenovelas inhabit a world of their own.  Chief among their attributes are “corny”, “amateurish”,  and “sometimes really stupid.” So why on earth did I watch this unintentionally laughable marathon? Netflix seemed to promote this series, so I started. Injustice and villains always get me going.  Because I have to see justice done I just keep plodding along to the end.

Before you waste your time let me list some of the “features” of this charmer:

  •  You might enjoy listening to the original Spanish (as in Spain, not Latin America) sound track. You might want Spanish captions. At the very least it could possibly be a learning experience although there are better options.
  •  Each tension point is almost immediately resolved so you don’t have to get all worked up.  Sometimes those immediate solutions seem far fetched or just too convenient.
  • Recall that telenovelas for all their involvement with sex are really very chaste.   Certainly the endless number of male stripper dance sequences are as innocent as they are boring.
  •  Warning: From the very last scene, it is obvious that there will probably be another season or even 100 more seasons. Possibilities are endless.

You can do much better, but in a certain sense the whole production is a hoot!

1999, Acceptable for teenagers, Amazon Prime, Chase film, Detective, Explicit sex, Frame someone for a crime, Intellectual property theft, Lawyers, Mediocre, Murder, Murder Trial, Must suspend disbelief, Nudity, Plagiarism, Revenge, Serial Killer, Somewhat ridiculous plot, Surprise Ending, Suspense, Trial Scenes, Unjust crime conviction, Violent

A Murder Of Crows (1999)

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From Amazon Prime:

A man plagiarizes a novel that becomes a best seller, and he becomes the FBI’s number one suspect when it is revealed that the book is a factual account of a series of murders.

From IMDB:

After a lawyer gets disbarred, he goes off to write a book about his experience. He meets a man who lets him read his manuscript. The man dies and the lawyer passes the book off as his. Just when the book becomes a big success. He gets arrested for the true life murders of the five lawyers in his book. He then finds himself, trying to prove that he is innocent of the murders.

From Amazon Prime you can stream this 1 hour 41 minute complete film.

Although this 21 year old film has many flaws, the story was clever enough to keep me interested. Lawyer Lawson Russel (played by Cuba Gooding Jr. ) is framed in a spectacular and cleverly calculated manner.  He will be helped by his friend Elizabeth Pope (played by Marianne Jean-Baptiste who also played Vivian Johnson in Without a Trace).  He will be pursued by Detective Clifford Dubose (played by Tom Berenger).

What are the flaws in this somewhat mediocre film?  First, the good news is that you need not let the suspense get to you because, secondly the  plot turns that help Lawson get out of jams are numerous and too good to be true.  After he is trapped in a web of impeccably constructed clues for the police, if you are streaming, just look at the remaining time in the film.  How on earth, you might ask yourself,  in just a half hour can this mess ever be resolved? Stay tuned for an unexpected ending.

Who cares?  Just enjoy the super resourceful Lawson Russel and the fun of the chase.

2019, Acceptable for teenagers, Acceptable Sci-Fi, Action Film, Aliens from outer space, Bisexual theme, Bloody scenes, Cancer theme, Computer geeks, Drugs, Ends in Cliff Hanger, Explicit sexual discussion, Father-daughter relations, Good digital effects, Happy Family Gatherings, Mediocre, Melodrama, Mildly Violent, Mother-daughter relations, Nasty Aliens, Netflix Streaming, Nothing special, Nudity, Romance, Sci-Fi, Sex Scenes, Sexual Tension, Suspense, Various Romances, Vulgar, Young Adults

Another Life (2019)

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From IMDB:

Astronaut Niko Breckenridge and her young crew face unimaginable danger as they go on a high-risk mission to explore the genesis of an alien artifact.

From Netflix you can stream the only season made so far of this series. Each of the 10 episodes lasts about 45 minutes except for the first episode which lasts an hour.

What makes this mediocre (and possible waste of time) series  different is that it is mostly about the inter-relations of the VERY young crew. Along the way you hear a lot of technical space babble. Who knows if any of that jargon approaches reality?  One crisis after another plagues the crew. Fortunately with each crisis there is some far-fetched solution. In a way it makes for easy watching when every seemingly insurmountable problem has a quick and often hokey fix. Eventually there must be another season because the story is just taking off when the season comes to a halt.

When I was a kid I went every Saturday morning to a movie theatre and spent the outrageous entry fee of 20 cents  to see one cartoon, one comedy short, an episode of a series starring such wonders as Superman, and a full-length feature film.  Every episode of that series ended with our hero in some jam. Next episode gets the hero out of that jam only to trap him in another jam. Needless to say, I could hardly wait for the next week’s exciting episode. Similarly I was compelled to binge watch “Another Life” to see how the kids (as I said, a VERY young crew) solved the current problem.

At least it was a welcome break from all the crime stories.

 

2015, Acceptable for teenagers, Action Film, Action Hero, Cancer theme, Contract Killing, Father-daughter relations, Improbable details, Mad scientist, Mediocre, Merely acceptable, Mother-daughter relations, Netflix Streaming, Nothing special, Sci-Fi, Suspense, Thriller, Violent

Self/Less (2015)

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From IMDB:

An extremely wealthy man, dying from cancer, undergoes a radical medical procedure that transfers his consciousness into the body of a healthy young man. But all is not as it seems when he starts to uncover the mystery of the body’s origin and the organization that will kill to protect its cause

From Netflix you can stream this full-length film which lasts almost two hours.

Ryan Reynolds  plays the transformed real estate mogul (Ben Kingsley ) who now has a new body which he discovers to his horror belonged to a young father. This previous owner of the body sold his body in order to get money to treat his daughter’s illness. Now Reynolds must confront the grieving widow and her now healthy daughter in order to save all their lives from the ruthless transformation organization.

As you might expect from this typical, not very special story, you must suspend a fair amount of disbelief. Reynolds quickly discovers that he has the fighting fitness of the dead father. Moreover he never misses a shot when in gun battles with the bad guys. Without spoiling the plot, I will hint that the use of certain medical pills leads to a happy ending.

Not a complete waste of two hours.

 

2015, Acceptable for teenagers, Amazon Prime Brit Box, Beautiful Seaside Town, British Mystery Series, Detective, Eccentric cast of characters, Flirting, Forensics, Gay theme, Mediocre, Mother-daughter relations, Murder, Murder Investigation, Small British village, Surfing, Suspense

The Coroner (2015)

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From Amazon Prime (Brit Box):

A high-flying lawyer returns, after a messy divorce, to the small town she escaped as a teenager to take up the post of Coroner. She finds herself thrown together with her old flame who broke her heart twenty years ago – now the local policeman – and they are forced to work together.

If you want to see the offerings from Amazon Prime’s Brit Box then you have to subscribe separately to Brit Box which is very inexpensive.

Brit Box offers 2 seasons of “The Coroner”.  Each season offers 10 episodes. Each episode lasts about 45 minutes and is a complete story.

Jane Kennedy is the coroner and Davey Higgins is the local policeman and her old love. He is married and faithful although he only mentions his wife whom we never see.  All 20 episodes show this pair flirting and discussing their old life in this small,  beautiful English seaside town named Lighthaven.  Her mother has a lover. They are a bawdy couple who together run a seaside pub.

As crime series go, this one is somewhat mediocre, easy on the emotions and never very violent. Think “Doc Martin” plus a few murders.

 

2019, Acceptable Trash, Acorn TV, Amusing banter, Australian, Bicycles, Bloody scenes, Detective, Drug Dealers, Eccentric Detective, Explicit sexual discussion, Flirting, Interest in cats, Mediocre, Merely acceptable, Murder, Murder Investigation

My Life Is Murder (2019)

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From Acorn TV:

Lucy Lawless (Xena: Warrior Princess, Parks and Recreation) stars in this contemporary Australian detective drama as retired cop Alexa Crowe. With her old boss (Bernard Curry, Once Upon a Time) regularly asking for her insight on cold cases and a young police data-analyst (Ebony Vagulans) eager to be mentored–whether Alexa wants to or not–Alexa can’t seem to stop solving crime.

From Acorn TV you can stream the three episodes of the only season. Each episode lasts about 42 minutes.

For a superficial, mediocre, but watchable set of 3 detective stories these three episodes might be a tad better than that TV stunner  called “Say Yes To The Dress”, but only just a bit better. Expect sexual comments, flirting, and some snappy retorts.

Meh!

2019, Abuse of Women, Acceptable Trash, Bad high school, Career Competition, Child abuse, Cold Cases, Complicated, Corny at times, Dancing, Detective, DNA, Drama, Emotional child abuse, Ethical struggles, Extramarital Affair, Fashion, Gay theme, Illegitimate Child, Mediocre, Melodrama, Mother-daughter relations, Murder, Narcissistic Personality, Netflix Streaming, Psychopath, Sex Scenes, Sociopath, Suspense, Uncategorized, Unscrupulous drive to power, Violent, Womanizing

What/If (2019)

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From IMDB:

An anthology series which tackles a different morality tale, and the ripple effect of a single decision that changes the trajectory of an entire life.

From Netflix you can stream 10 episodes of this soap opera. Each episode lasts between 40 and 60 minutes.

Anne Montgomery is the villain and most prominent feature of this acceptable trashy melodrama. She is played by Renee Zellweger (Bridget Jones) who looks awfully good for her 50 years. Of course it does not hurt her appearance to wear not only tons of makeup but to wear in each new appearance an astounding designer creation. Best of all you can hear her lisp for all ten episodes.

Harlequin Books, the leaders in trashy bodice-rippers, will send you a story plot and will pay you to fill in the details. Suppose, in similar fashion you want to write a Netflix Original screenplay. What should be in the plot to be current in 2019?  Here are some suggestions (where we were motivated by this marvelous series):

  • In each couple, one of the partners must be hiding some terrible, guilty secret which prevents that person from being truly open with the other person.
  • One of the couples must be a gay couple. They should engage in least some filmed threesome sexual activity.
  • For each couple there must be a third party who has some destructive relation to one of the partners.
  • Some character must be a homicidal sociopath.
  • Financial dealings must complicated by the fact that you can never know whom to trust.

Probably I could extend the list, but those selling points should be enough to tempt you to watch almost 10 hours of acceptable trash. As a further inducement to wasting all that time, I am happy to reveal that by the end of episode ten, all problems have been resolved. Moreover, the plot leaves an opening for another thrilling set of trashy episodes.

Thanks to former colleague Kellie Trainer for suggesting this binge-worthy series. She and I have a motto:

WE LOVE TRASH!