Category Archives: Crude Talk

2014, Abandoned child, Ballet, Crude Talk, DNA, DO NOT MISS, Drama, Explicit sexual discussion, Failed Father, Father-son relations, Fatherless child, Gay theme, Happy ending, Kanopy streaming, Marijuana, Narcissist, Plot Twist, Promiscuity, Psychological Drama, Psychological Tension, Reconciliation, Revenge, Sexual promiscuity, Tender, Unhappy Marriage, Unusual

Match (2014)

From IMDB:

As a Juilliard professor is interviewed by a woman and her husband for her dissertation on the history of dance in 1960s New York City, it becomes increasingly clear that there are ulterior motives to the couple’s visit.

From Kanopy:

Patrick Stewart is riveting as a Manhattan ballet instructor concealing a sordid past in this explosive drama of sex, secrets, and lies based on the Tony(R)-nominated play.

From Kanopy you can stream this 1 hour 32 minute film drama.

There are three characters in this superb but harrowing drama:

  • Patrick Stewart plays the ballet teacher Tobi Powell.  His character is a mixture of guilt,  libertine,  and genuine caring for others.  WARNING:  His conversations offer some of the most explicit sexual discussions I have ever heard. You might be offended.
  • Carla Gugino plays Lisa Davis the unhappy wife of Mike Davis.
  • Mathew Lillard plays Mike Davis the policeman on a mission.

You may never have heard of Gugino or Lillard, but their IMDB resumés are extensive.

Once again, it would be worthwhile to join Kanopy (it costs nothing) just to see “Match”.

DO NOT MISS!

 

2014, Abduction, Acceptable for teenagers, Aliens from outer space, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bizarre, Crude Talk, Disguises, Fun waste of time, Kanopy streaming, Often downright silly, Sight Gags, Vulgar

Australiens (2014)

From KANOPY:

At the age of 10, Australian-born Andi Gibson had what she describes as a close encounter with a flying saucer. 17 years later, an airborne extra-terrestrial armada launches a nation-wide assault on Andi’s home country. Bloody hell, this is gonna be a long night.

From KANOPY you can stream this awful comedy that lasts 1 hour and 15 minutes

Now and then I find a film that is so BAD that it is comically GOOD. Probably this farce was made by teenagers or Martians. Most of the actors seem to be teenagers. Sprinkled in are some equally inept adults.

After reading newspaper accounts of events in this currently very troubled planet,  such tongue-in-cheek comic relief just at bedtime might induce a more peaceful sleep.

2011, Acceptable for teenagers, Acceptable Trash, Chick Flick, Comedy, Crude Talk, Embarrassing Father, Father-son relations, Gay theme, Happy ending, Love Story, Mostly About Sex, Mother-daughter relations, Netflix Streaming, Nudity, Romance, Sex Scenes, Vulgar, Young Adult

No Strings Attached (2011)

From IMDB:

A guy and girl try to keep their relationship strictly physical, but it’s not long before they learn that they want something more.

From Netflix you can stream this 1 hour 48 minute comedy drama.

Want to relax and watch some vulgar, fun semi-trash? Have I got a film for you! It’s wonderful when there is absolutely nothing to take seriously in a move.

Natalie Portman (as Emma) and Ashton Kutcher (as Adam) are a nice, funny couple. Kevin Kline as Adam’s thrice-married father about to marry someone his son used to date also deserves a mention.

When I catch myself grinning while watching some scene, is that a positive recommendation or a lapse of judgement on my part?

 

2016, Abduction, Abortion, Abuse of Women, Adultery, Art as worthless fakery, Art Gallery, Author, Bullying, Cancer theme, Could Be Hard To Watch, Crude Talk, Cynical, Dark, Depression, Detective, Disrespect toward women, Disturbing Image, Eccentric Detective, Ethical struggles, Extramarital Affair, Extremely Violent, Failed Marriage, Failing Marriage, Grim, Mother-daughter relations, Murder, Netflix Streaming, Nudity, Psychopath, Rape, Romance, Ruthless Killer, Serial rapist, Social class differences, Suspense, Tragedy, Unhappy Ending, Upsetting ending, Violent, Vulgar

Nocturnal Animals (2016)

From Netflix:

Reading her ex-husband’s violent novel manuscript destabilizes gallery owner Susan’s life, upending her present while digging up their past.

From Netflix you can stream this 1 hour 56 minute complete film.

WARNING:  Almost certainly you will find this extremely violent film upsetting.  In addition the  opening videos of an especially obese naked woman are  quite revolting.

However, as usual, Jake Gyllenhaal delivers his usual impassioned performance.  Just don’t try and sleep afterwards.

Basically the entire film is a downer:

  • Amy Adams as Susan Morrow has reached the pinnacle of an unhappy life.  Her failing faux-modern art gallery features worthless but expensive junk.   She rejected the real love of her life, Tony Hastings. Her second marriage to Hutton Marrow is a lonely empty shell.
  • Armie Hammer as Hutton Morrow is the handsome, suave, and habitually unfaithful second husband.
  • Laura Linney as Susan’s mother Anne Sutton plays the completely materialistic, domineering Texan society matron.
  • Michael Shannon is the tough, chain-smoking lawman who is dying of metastasized cancer.
  • Jake Gyllenhaal is Susan’s first husband, a writer whom Susan loved but discarded as impractical.
  • Robert Aramayo as Turk.  His portrayal of a violent, psychopathic alpha thug is pitch perfect.

What!!! You still want to see this movie?

 

2022, Abandoned child, Acceptable for teenagers, Alcoholism, Amazon Prime, America of the 1950s, Amusing banter, Based on a Book, Based on true facts, Brother-Sister relations, Coarse manners, Could Be Sad, Crude Talk, Disrespect toward women, DO NOT MISS, Eccentric cast of characters, Failed Father, Father-son relations, Fatherless child, Feel Good Not For Children, Friendship, Happy ending, Husband leaves wife, Local color, Sex Scenes, Social class differences, Uncle-Nephew relations, Vulgar, Wife Beating

The Tender Bar (2022)

From Amazon Prime:

​​From director George Clooney and based on the best-selling memoir, The Tender Bar follows an aspiring writer (Tye Sheridan) pursuing his romantic and professional dreams. From a stool in his uncle’s (Ben Affleck) bar, he learns what it means to grow up from a colorful group of local characters.

From Amazon Prime you can stream this gem of a film which lasts for 1 hour 46 minutes.

Ben Affleck’s resumé has seen its ups and downs, successes and embarrassing flops.  But with this wonderful film he has nailed a really memorable role.  Even one critic who found the film “bland” still conceded that Affleck (as Uncle George) delivered an excellent, terrific performance.

Although that Long Island neighborhood, home of a lot of foul-mouthed but warm-hearted men and women, was rougher than anything I ever experienced, nevertheless I admired their tight friendships.

Expect notable acting from:

  • Tye Sheridan as the young JR.  Naïve, plain looking, and hopelessly attracted to
  • Briana Middleton as Sidney. Did she ever love JR or was she looking for “experience” (as in “sex”)?
  • Quincy Tyler Bernstine as Sidney’s mother, whose sneering, smug, cruel treatment of JR left me boiling.
  • Daniel Ranieri as young JR.
  • Christopher Lloyd as Grandpa. “Don’t tell anybody I’m a good grandfather, everybody will want one.”
  • Lily Rabe as the  Mom whose life is centered on her son JR.
  • Max Martini as JR’s cringe-worthy drunk of a father.

In the IMDB entry for this movie, there is a sizeable user review that is much harder on the film than I have been. Still —

DO NOT MISS!

 

2012, Amusing banter, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bullying, Career Competition, Comedy, Crude Talk, Disrespect toward women, Eccentric cast of characters, Flirting, Happy ending, Kanopy streaming, Nudity, Outrageous Behavior, Pratfalls, Revenge, Romance, Vulgar

Demoted (2012)

From Kanopy:

The producer of American Pie presents a hilarious look at what happens when two mid-level sales associates are DEMOTED to the company secretarial pool.

From Kanopy you can stream this 95 minute piece of funny, barely acceptable trash.

Today it seems there are no holds barred on what salacious things you can say out loud in a film.  Needless to say the film was rated Restricted for crude (to say the least) language.

David Cross, who played Tobias Funke in “Arrested Development”, was the only actor I recognized. As a hapless villain he is quite successful.

If nothing else recommends the film, at least it is funny and has a happy, sappy ending.

I LOVE TRASH!

 

2021, Acceptable for teenagers, Comedy, Crude Talk, Eccentric cast of characters, Korean, Korean Culture, Mother-daughter relations, Netflix Streaming, Offbeat, Somewhat trashy, University Politics, Vulgar

The Chair (2021)

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From Netflix:

With the department facing budget cuts and low enrollment, Ji-Yoon vows to make some changes as chair while one professor struggles to keep it together.

From Netflix you can stream the only season of this academia comedy. Each of the 6 episodes lasts 30 minutes.

Sandra Oh as Ji-Yoon Kim plays the first Korean chairperson of the English department at small Pembroke College.  In this position she must play politics while managing a flock of eccentric, unruly, and most very aged professors. Indeed she has her hands full.

Welcome vulgar soap operatic relief from more violent entertainment.

2018, Acceptable Trash, Action Film, Action Hero, Action sequences, Amusing banter, Car Chase, Chase film, Coarse manners, Comedy, Conspiracy, Corruption, Crude Talk, Exaggeration Comedy, Explicit sexual discussion, Fist Fight, Frenetic, IMDB streaming, Improbable details, International thriler, Invincible Hero, Mayhem, Mercenaries, Mixed Martial Arts, Murder, Must suspend disbelief, Nudity, Physical fighting, Plot twists, Psychopath, Romance, Ruthless Killer, Satirical ultra-violence, Spy Versu Spy, Suspense, Violent, Vulgar, Vulgar Action Comedy, Witty dialog

The Spy Who Dumped Me (2018)

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From IMDB:

Audrey and Morgan are best friends who unwittingly become entangled in an international conspiracy when one of the women discovers the boyfriend who dumped her was actually a spy.

From IMDB you can stream this 2 hour thriller comedy.

If you register with IMDB, then for FREE you can stream using IMDB some of the films you find on that site.  Locate a film and then on that page you will see a list of just which sites stream that film.  Now and then one of those streaming sites will be IMDB.

One of my guilty pleasures is watching acceptable trash films for which I need a new category.   As time goes by such films are in competition to provide the most vulgar conversations, the most explicit nudity,  the most explicit sexual activity, and the most violent scenes possible. Often such films are touted as “comedies”.  So from now on, if I call a film a “vulgar action comedy,” then you know what I mean.

This film under review fits all those criteria except that there is just kissing instead of sexual activity.

Until the end of the film you really do not know who the good guys are.  But as is so often the case,  each of the candidates can shoot guns so well that they never miss a shot.  In addition these candidates are superb athletes that have mastered gymnastics and martial arts and can leap over tall buildings.  Here the two leading competitors are Justin Theroux (from American Psycho) as Drew and Sam Heughan (from Outlander) as Sebastian.

Another requirement for such films are the wild, out-of-control car chases. Usually the car must travel the wrong way on a one-way street or highway.  There must be several collisions in which some cars are turned upside down.

Why do I love this type of film?

2014, America of the 1960s, America of the 1970s, Based on a Book, Coarse manners, Cocaine, Crime, Crude Talk, Detective, Drug Dealers, Drugs, Dysfunctional Lives, Eccentric cast of characters, Explicit sex, Explicit sexual discussion, Kanopy streaming, Nudity, Offbeat, Old-Fashioned, Period Piece, Politicians, Quirky

Inherent Vice (2014)

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From Kanopy you can stream this 149 minute feature film.  Kanopy’s own summary is:

Oscar®-nominated filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson (The Master, There Will Be Blood, Magnolia, Boogie Nights) reteams with The Master star Joaquin Phoenix (Gladiator, Her, Walk the Line) for this darkly comic adaptation of the 2009 Thomas Pynchon novel, set in late-sixties Los Angeles. When private eye Doc Sportello’s ex-old lady suddenly out of nowhere shows up with a story about her current billionaire land developer boyfriend whom she just happens to be in love with, and a plot by his wife and her boyfriend to kidnap that billionaire and throw him in a loony bin…well, easy for her to say. It’s the tail end of the psychedelic ’60s and paranoia is running the day and Doc knows that “love” is another of those words going around at the moment, like “trip” or “groovy,” that’s being way too overused—except this one usually leads to trouble.

If you enjoy period pieces you will enjoy watching  bearded Joaquin Phoenix cleverly disguised as a hippy private investigator.  Consider the impressive list of actors:

Benicio Del Toro, Jena Malone, Joanna Newsom, Joaquin Phoenix, Josh Brolin, Katherine Waterston, Martin Short, Owen Wilson, Reese Witherspoon.

Slow, complicated, and historic.  Many references to the Vietnam period politics (Nixon, etc). Very frank sexual discussions and situations  accompanied by full nudity.

Probably not for everyone.

2016, Abduction, Abuse of Women, Amazon Prime, Amusing banter, Barely Acceptable Trash, Coarse manners, Comedy, Contract Killing, Crude Talk, Eccentric cast of characters, Exaggeration Comedy, Explicit sex, Father-daughter relations, Friendship, Gay theme, Often downright silly, Outrageous Behavior, Quirky, Sex Scenes, Violent, Vulgar

Nice Package (2016)

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From IMDB:

A wannabe professional thief, his gay best friend, a sexy hostage, some thugs and a mystery package everyone wants.

From Amazon Prime you can stream this 1 hour 38 minute complete film.

If vulgarity, goofy characters, tongue-in-cheek violence, satiric sex scenes, and absurd conversations are your thing, this barely acceptable trash will hopefully provide you with some laughs.

Motto: I LOVE TRASH!