Category Archives: Could be boring

2017, Acceptable for teenagers, Agatha Christie, B-movie, Bad Acting, Car Chase, Controlling personality, Could be boring, Detective, Emotional abuse, Family Conflict, Mediocre, Murder, Murder by poison, Murder Investigation, Netflix Streaming, Revenge

Agatha Christie’s Crooked House (2017)

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From IMDB:

In Agatha Christie’s most twisted tale, a spy-turned-private-detective is lured by his former lover to catch her grandfather’s murderer before Scotland Yard exposes dark family secrets.

From Netflix you can stream this 2 hour complete film.

Both aging actors and young players unite to produce a classic  but somewhat dull and badly acted Agatha Christie mystery story. Among the aged are Glenn Close (elegant and beautiful),  Gillian Anderson (tired in a really ugly black wig), Terence Stamp (what an immense resumé) , and Julian Sands.  Gillian Anderson has done herself no favor with her exaggerated (embarrassing?) performance.

Except for finally learning which of these awful people is the killer, there is not much to gain is watching this sad, mediocre work.

 

2021, Abduction, Abuse of Women, Action sequences, Bloody scenes, Confusing Plot, Could be boring, Detective, Drug Dealers, Failed Father, Family Conflict, Father-son relations, French, French Detectives, Friendship, Good Brother - Bad Brother, Harlan Coben, Imperfect, Mediocre, Murder, Netflix Streaming, Nothing special, Plot twists, Revenge, Suspense, Violent

Gone For Good (2021)

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From Netflix:

Ten years after losing two loved ones, a man is plunged into another dizzying mystery when his girlfriend vanishes. Based on a Harlan Coben novel.

From Netflix you can stream the 6 episodes, each episode less than one hour, of the serialized adaptation of Coben’s 2001 novel of the same name. French with English subtitles.

Even the reviews of Coben’s novel complain that this is not one of his better novels.  Confusing plot twists, hard to accept events, and other defects, despite the many action sequences, make the story sadly forgettable.

In fact, I was tempted to stop watching the series.  Either read a different Coben novel or find a film adaptation of some other Coben story.

Forget it!

2015, Acceptable Sci-Fi, Acceptable Science, Astronauts, Could be boring, Ethical struggles, Human spirit, NASA, Suspense

The Martian (2015)

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From IMDB:

During a manned mission to Mars, Astronaut Mark Watney is presumed dead after a fierce storm and left behind by his crew. But Watney has survived and finds himself stranded and alone on the hostile planet. With only meager supplies, he must draw upon his ingenuity, wit and spirit to subsist and find a way to signal to Earth that he is alive.

Nerds with a scientific bent will love this long (2 hours, 21 minutes) film. However, others may find this long film boring and indeed I have heard that complaint from friends. Personally I was compelled by the film, but am somewhat embarrassed to admit that I had to watch in pieces, interrupted by some lesser form of entertainment.

What takes so long? As you might expect, things do always go smoothly. During most of the film, after NASA has learned that Mark Watney is still alive and kicking, there are various schemes and efforts to rescue Mark. Each scheme involves politics such as: who tells whom what, who pays the expenses, what should the public learn, when does someone tell Mark’s former crew members? Mark is a botanist as well as a scientist of all trades who never gives up trying.

“Martian” just has to be Matt Damon’s best film, better in my opinion than “Good Will Hunting”. He has matured.

So if you enjoy scientific mumbo-jumbo, are thrilled by space travel, are a survivalist interested in growing potatoes on Mars, or any of the above, then you will enjoy this adventure.

2013, Acceptable for children, Action Film, B-movie, Bullying, Corny, Could be boring, Fantasy, FBI, Good digital effects, Mayhem, Sci-Fi, Violent

Man of Steel (2013)

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From Netflix:

In another revival of the Superman legend, reporter Clark Kent must keep his alien origins and fantastic powers hidden from the world at large. But when the Kryptonian General Zod plans to destroy Earth, the Man of Steel springs into heroic action.

No amount of digital eye-candy can turn a B-movie into an A-movie. Kids (some of whom are in their 70’s) will enjoy the visuals. However, if you are looking for anything but corny dialog and bathos, look elsewhere.

How does it happen so often that such an extravaganza features as actors a long list of well-known personalities? Look for Michael Shannon, Diane Lane, Russell Crowe, Richard Schiff, Christopher Meloni, Kevin Costner, Lawrence Fishburne. And the list goes on. Assumedly they were each paid a great deal of money.

To be sure, the bullies never win. But it might be almost boring fun watching them try. For awhile my money was on the evil General Zod and his evolutionarily advanced buddies.

2005, Animation, Comedy, Could be boring, Could Be Sad, Drama, FilmReview, Imperfect, Several languages, Short Films, Talking Heads

Shorts: Vol 3 (2005)

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From NetFlix:

Good things come in small packages, as evidenced by the 16 award winners showcased in this collection, which represents the best short films screened at Cannes, Sundance, Telluride, Tribeca and many other film festivals. This international collection includes Johan Brisinger’s “Passing Hearts Sweden,” Kathleen Na’s “L’Entretien,” Shawn Ku’s “Pretty Dead Girl” and many other superb shorts. Extras include extensive commentaries by the filmmakers.

These supposedly Award-Winning Film Festival Shorts are not very good, excepting for the poignant “Passing Hearts Sweden”. Instead try 2007 Shorts.

Shorts included are:

  • “Hyper” Oddly enough, concerns a really hyper young man. [Funny]
  • “Gowanus, Brooklyn” So slow I gave up watching.
  • “Passing Hearts Sweden” Slow, warm story about boy in 8th grade. Somewhat of a mystery until you understand the sadness behind the story. [Swedish with English subtitles]
  • “My Name is Yu Ming” Adventuresome Chinese student visits Dublin. He spent 6 months learning Irish only to discover that almost no one in Ireland understands Irish. [Mandarin with English subtitles]
  • “Seventeen” Grotesque depiction of young man who cannot find a sexual partner. Explicit sexual drawings. {Netherlands] [Drawn animation]
  • “Loose Ends” Two twenty something young men arguing about “Star Wars” [Norwegian with English subtitles]
  • “L’Entretien” Young man receives strange invitation to join the “Good Life”followed by a strange sequence of events. [French with English subtitles]
  • “Confection” Little girl has fantasies while holding onto a sweet from a bakery.
  • “Colorform” Little girl makes a mess with finger paints. Has a harp lesson with an Italian teacher. Throws spahetti at dinner. Etc.
  • “Date” Demanding girl friend changes her attitude.
  • “The Fridge” Tale of a mysterious refrigerator. [Greek with English subtitles]
  • “Clay Pride” The difficulty of being Clay in America. [Animated Play Dough]
  • “Pretty Dead Girl” Off-color hospital song and dance routing.
  • “Climactic Death of Dark Ninja” Kids in the woods.
  • “Archipelago” Acceptable short drama on a beach. [Spanish with English Subtitles]
  • “A Ninja Pays Half My Rent” Young man tries to get along with his new Ninja roommate.
2012, Could be boring, Could Be Sad, Drugs, Explicit sex, Gay theme, Love Story, Nudity, Quiet

Keep the LIghts On (2012)

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From NetFlix:

The physical romance between a gay filmmaker and an attorney soon evolves into a more complex relationship, laced with conflicting desires. Over several turbulent years, both men struggle to build a true acceptance of the other’s strengths and flaws.

That the two protagonists happen to be two gay males is almost beside the point. Suppose they were a straight couple. Suppose they “hook-up” casually. Suppose they develop a friendship. Suppose A falls in love with B (and suppose B also loves A, but in this film that is questionable). Suppose B has a serious drug problem. Suppose the friends of B stage an intervention and B agrees to accept treatment. Suppose for awhile A and B are happy together. Suppose B falls off the wagon and disappears for awhile. If you were A, what would you do?

Forgive my hard heart, but if I were A I would run as fast as I could from the relationship. Now you have to watch the film to see what happens.

Perhaps this warning is unnecessary, but there is a lot of explicit male with male sexual activity. It might just as well have been male with female activity. And the sex is somewhat besides the point. Tough decisions is what this film is really about.

Some parts are boring or overly long. Some parts ring incredibly true to life. There is a lot of quiet conversation. Think of the plot as an ordinary story that is enacted over and over in much of the world and we are invisible spectators. Sometimes I yawned but for much of the time I was drawn to real people going through some really rough times.

2012, B-movie, Car Chase, Conspiracy, Could be boring, Mayhem, Mediocre, Sci-Fi, Violent

Total Recall (2012)

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FromNetFlix:

Bursting with mind-blowing action sequences and spectacular visual effects, Colin Farrell stars as Douglas Quaid, a man on the run after a mind-bending procedure at Rekall goes horribly wrong. Co-starring Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel.

As much as I hate to say it, I preferred the 1990 version by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Granted the special effects of this 2012 version with Colin Farrell were worth seeing. But that is just about all you get. Chase follows chase. Shooting follow shooting. You have already seen this film in different disguises many times before.

Thank goodness Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel wore different outfits. Bad guys always wear black. Otherwise the two women were hard to differentiate. Is it me, or do many of today’s young female stars tend to look alike? You could say the same for the young men.

Good luck understanding the many sequences in which our hero knows just what button to push or which lever to pull. Just enjoy the ride.

Ho-hum. If you enjoy mayhem, this is the film for you.

2009, Could be boring, Explicit sex, Gloomy, Not Feel Good, Not Recommended, Nudity, Quiet, Slow

Young Adam (2009)

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From NetFlix:

A young drifter named Joe (Ewan McGregor) finds work on a barge that travels between Glasgow and Edinburgh. But when the corpse of a young woman is found floating in the river, is Joe really telling everything he knows? Making things even messier is the unspoken attraction that develops between Joe and Ella (Tilda Swinton), one of the barge’s owners, in the barge’s claustrophobic confines. Emily Mortimer and Peter Mullan co-star.

If you ever wondered what some film stars look like when they are completely naked, now’s your chance. If you take away the nudity and all the sex scenes you are left with Ewan McGregor as a hollow shell of irresponsibility and self gratification. Supposedly he is so sexually attractive that each woman he gets close to (i.e. one or two feet away) is eager for a sexual encounter whether it be in a boat, on some public foot path, in some alley, on lying on the ground in some train yard.

Composed of a mixture of events from the present and from the past, little by little you put together the whole story. For most of the film the question is: Will our non-hero actually let an innocent man be hanged? Stay tuned.

Is Scotland really that gloomy? We spend a lot of time looking at either dreary weather or Ewan McGregor staring off into space. Do you notice that I am trying to steer you away from this downer?

It would be fair to summarize this film as “What’s the point ?”.

2011, Acceptable for children, Could be boring, Fantasy, Flirting, Graphic Novel, Mayhem, Mediocre, Military, Mixed Martial Arts, Motorcycles, Not Recommended, Sci-Fi, Trains, Violent

Captain America (2011)

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From NetFlix:

Marvel launches another super franchise with this action-packed origin story, which follows Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) as he volunteers for a secret experiment during World War II. Transformed into a superhero named Captain America, Steve goes after the Axis. With his perfect physique and heightened reflexes — and his sidekick, Bucky (Sebastian Stan) — Steve battles the Red Skull (Hugo Weaving), a super soldier created by Italian fascists.

Because of the “quality” of this film I have just invented a new category “Not Recommended”. But then any PG-13 rating is automatically suspect. Unless you are a 14 year old male, I can’t find any reason to watch this comic book. What was I thinking ?

Physically weak but patriotic and stupidly brave Steve enters a machine and comes out looking like a buff Chris Evans. Thereafter Steve and his trusty and invincible shield defeat every obstacle. Oddly enough he does NOT get the girl at the end of the movie. Serves him right for making such a ludicrous film!

Here we have ample demonstration that you can spend a lot a money to produce absolutely nothing of value.

2011, Acceptable for children, Acceptable Trash, Could be boring, Fantasy, Mediocre, Sci-Fi, Super Hero

Thor (2011)

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From NetFlix:

Kenneth Branagh directs this Marvel Comics-inspired action flick about the thunder god Thor (Chris Hemsworth), a powerful warrior whose father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins) — the king of Asgard — forces him to live among humans on Earth and learn humility. Once there, he finds a friend (Natalie Portman), along with unexpected enemies sent from his world. Kat Dennings, Stellan Skarsgård and Rene Russo co-star.

Making this film at least helped keep the actors employed. What other reason could there be for a talented man like Kenneth Branagh using (wasting ?) his time directing this B- movie for kids ? Of course Anthony Hopkins has been appearing in junk films for a long while. Newer talent such as the 28 year old Australian Chris Hemsworth can use the screen time. But what is the ever beautiful “Black Swan” Natalie Portman doing in such schlock? Do you suppose I could have had at least a minor role in this film?

Fairly gratuitous special digital effects are what this adventure offers. Certainly kids will enjoy the often violent fun. But digital violence never seems as real as, say, a hurtful comment. As for sex, Natalie gives Chris a real smoocher of a kiss. Adults will just have to suffer along.

Adios, I am off to another superhero spectacle!