Category Archives: Corny

2020, Alcoholism, Anti-Gay Laws, Anti-Semitism, B-movie, Bad Acting, Barely Acceptable Trash, Black struggles, Career Competition, Corny, Ethical struggles, Extramarital Affair, Family Conflict, Father-daughter relations, Feel Good Not For Children, Gay Bashing, Gay Prostitution, Gay theme, Happy ending, Hollywood Culture, Homophobia, Imperfect, Longsuffering wife, Love Story, Male Chauvinism, Male Prostitute for Women, Male Prostitutes, Marital Infidelity, Maudlin, Mediocre, Mostly About Sex, Netflix Streaming, Nudity, Oscar Awards, Preachy, Promiscuity, Romance, Satire, Sex Scenes, Sexual promiscuity, Soap Opera, Unhappy Marriage, Vulgar, Women's Equality

Hollywood (2020)

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From Netflix:

While waiting for his big break, aspiring movie star Jack Castello accepts a job at a local service station that pumps more than just gas.

From Netflix you can stream the 7 episodes of this soap opera. Each episode runs between 45 and 58 minutes.

Maudlin. Salacious. Corny. Subtle as a brick. Clichéd. Barely acceptable trash. Maudlin. Raunchy. Preachy. Woke. Terrible acting. Production errors.  And the list could go on.

My college freshman rhetoric teacher suggested that in order to better appreciate good examples of a given art discipline such as literature, music, and film, it helps to experience the bad examples. Well, with this film we now have a golden opportunity to experience one of the lesser achievements of the movie industry.

“Golden Tip Gasoline” is a gas pumping station that doubles as a gas pimping station for the young male gas attendants who will “fill your tank” if the customer uses the code word “dreamland”, no matter if that customer is male or female.   Not only all these attendants but also their boss and some customers have Hollywood aspirations. One way for such a gas pumper to get his start is to service those customers who are part of the Hollywood management nobility. Instead of casting couches it seems there were casting nozzles.

Rather than merely prurient attractions, this story offers a noble sub-theme: No longer would the film industry suppress black,  gay, and women actors.

Indeed from the goings-on we might suspect that half of Hollywood consisted of closeted gays .  As an example: One client, say Jake, is so stupid that when he drives up to engage Archie Coleman he can’t remember the word “Dreamland”. But they hook up and eventually fall in love.  Jake is told he cannot act. Nonetheless he forges ahead.  Because he could not remember two lines, his first screen text required 67 takes. Because Jake is as handsome as he is stupid, some producer accepts him but says “Jake” is not an acceptable screen name and must be changed to ROCK HUDSON (get it?). His boyfriend Archie is a black man (horrors!) who wants to become a screen writer. Camille Washington is a black woman (even worse!) who wants to have some screen role other than playing a maid (uppity!). And so it goes on and on for 7 episodes.

Is this a satire? Have I missed something here?

If you can last till episode 7, which is aptly named “A Hollywood Ending”,  you will be rewarded with a happy, sappy ending. Amen!

But just remember I LOVE TRASH!

2020, Abduction, Action sequences, Amnesia, Bad Acting, Barely Acceptable Trash, Brother-Sister relations, Conspiracy, Corny, Detective, Ends in Cliff Hanger, Extramarital Affair, Failing Marriage, Government cover-up, Government human experiment, Government mind-control, Human experimentation, Kidnapping, Lesbian Theme, Love Triangle, Marital Infidelity, Maudlin, Mother-son relations, Must suspend disbelief, Netflix Streaming, Often downright silly, Paranormal theme, Plane Disappearance, Religious Nonsense, Short-lived suspenseful episodes, Sometimes seems silly, Suspense

Manifest (2020)

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From Netflix:

When a plane mysteriously lands years after takeoff, the people onboard return to a world that has moved on without them and face strange, new realities.

From Netflix you can stream two seasons of this fairly awful series. Season 1 has 16 episodes and season 2 has 13 episodes.  Every single episode lasts exactly 42 minutes, which may have been the only technical achievement of the series.

Holy Maudlin!  There were enough tears shed during this slop opera to irrigate California.

Holy Unbelievable! Find yourself in a tight spot?  Just invent some miraculous paranormal intervention.

Holy Gullible! How on earth could I watch all 29 episodes expecting to be satisfied with the ending.  Perhaps it is because I LOVE TRASH.

MISS!

2021, Abuse of Women, Acceptable Trash, Action sequences, Bad Acting, Bloody scenes, Boating, Complicated, Confusing Plot, Corny, Corruption, Drama, Ethical struggles, Explicit sex, Extramarital Affair, False Imprisonment, Family Conflict, Father-daughter relations, Father-son relations, Fist Fight, Gay theme, Illegitimate Child, Love Story, Marital Infidelity, Murder, Netflix Streaming, Nudity, Poor plot management, Prison, Rape, Revenge, Spanish, Suspense, Telenovela, Violent

Who Killed Sara (2021)

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From IMDB:

Hell-bent on exacting revenge and proving he was framed for his sister’s murder, Álex sets out to unearth much more than the crime’s real culprit.

From Netflix you can stream two seasons of this never-ending Spanish telenovela. Season one offers 10 episodes. Season two consists of 8 episodes.  Each episode last about 40 minutes. Spoken Spanish with English subtitles.

As is usually the case  “Spanish Telenovela” implies “acceptable trash.”  Be prepared for a complicated, ever shifting plot and characters that seem to pop out of nowhere.  You might want to make a list of characters as this pot boiler proceeds.  Try and guess the fathers of each of the illegitimate children.  Do not get upset if the time sequence is sometimes incorrect.  Nor does it matter if sometimes the chosen actor just doesn’t seem to match the role because that is how telenovelas are made.

For a good time just muddle your way through this cinematic mess that wants to be serious.

2018, Abuse of Women, Acceptable Trash, Addiction, Adultery, B-movie, Bad Acting, Bloody scenes, Brother-Brother relations, Bullying, Conspiracy, Controlling personality, Corny, Corruption, Cult Brainwashing, Detective, Drugs, Dysfunctional Lives, Eccentric cast of characters, Eccentric Detective, Emotional abuse, Ethical struggles, False Imprisonment, Family Conflict, Flashbacks, Frame someone for a crime, French, Good Brother - Bad Brother, Imperfect, Improbable details, Jealousy, Mental Illness, Mother-son relations, Murder, Murder Investigation, Must suspend disbelief, Netflix Streaming, Nudity, Often downright silly, Outrageous Behavior, Police Corruption, Prison, Problematic Ending, Psychiatrists, Psychological Drama, Revenge, Romance, Sex Offender, Sexual Harassment, Sexual Predator, Sometimes seems silly, Suspense, Troubled Personality, Unjust crime conviction, Violent

The Break (2018)

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From Netflix:

Soon after arriving in Heiderfeld, inspector Yoann Peeters is called to the scene of a suspected suicide and begins uncovering troubling details

From Netflix you can stream the 10 episodes of Season 2 of this French (English subtitles) crime soap-opera.  Each episode lasts about 50 minutes.

SECOND REVIEW: Please note that there is already a review for Season 1 which is dated 2016.  To appreciate Season 2 you should first watch Season 1.  My review for Season 1 raves positively and might now be taken with a grain of salt.  It is still true that I was so taken with the plot, characters, and mystery that I once again binged on the series. However, this time let me be a bit more critical.

For adjectives describing this strange-fest consider: exaggerated, corny, repetitive, histrionic,  improbable, riddled with inconsistencies,  and ending in a questionable conclusion.  How’s that for damning with praise?

So what is so watch-worthy?  For one thing the cast consists of some of the more peculiar non-Hollywood characters I have ever seen.  All names hereafter are the character names because it is unlikely that any of the French and Dutch actors will be familiar.  Dany Bastin is the center of attention as the accused.  He is a skinny young man whose entire body is marked by a severe case of psoriasis.  When was the last time you saw an actor with truly repellent skin? He, his brother Christian, his brother’s wife Zoe, and his mother all seem to be underfed, sub-intelligent, unattractive, poverty-stricken  members of some lower order of humans.  Astrid du Tilleul is the wealthy, nasty, dissolute, drug addict murder victim. Her jealous sister Astrid and Astrid’s husband are the oddest looking pair of scheming and murderous morons to hit the screen.  Even dumber are some of the police officers.  At least one officer, Marjorie, is, however,  honest despite her physical unattractiveness.  Not so honest is her partner.

On and on and on goes the series. Yet somehow I was eagerly drawn to each episode (like a moth to a burning candle?)  If my description has not yet turned you away from this mess,  just have fun watching the exaggerated set of unlikely events.  You won’t know “who done it” until the very end.

2020, Abandoned child, Abduction, Acceptable for teenagers, Acceptable Trash, Action sequences, Addiction, Adopted child, Aliens from outer space, Anti-Immigration, Bisexual theme, Brother-Brother relations, Brother-Sister relations, Conspiracy, Cooking and food, Corny, Dancing, Drugs, Father-daughter relations, Flashbacks, Friendship, Gay theme, Government cover-up, Government medical experiment, Immigrants, Incomplete ending, Latino Culture, Lesbian Theme, Love Story, Love Triangle, Melodrama, Mental Illness, Mildly Suspenseful, Mildly Violent, Missing Person, Mother-daughter relations, Mother-son relations, Murder, Netflix Streaming, Nice Aliens, Occasionaly violent, Racial Prejudice, Romance, Sci-Fi, Sister-sister relations, Strange Ending, Unusual ending

Roswell (2020)

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From IMDB:

Centers on a town where aliens with unearthly abilities live undercover among humans. But when a violent attack points to a greater alien presence, the politics of fear and hatred threaten to expose them.

From Netflix;

A decade after the death of her sister, Liz reluctantly returns to her small hometown and reconnects with her teenage crush Max.

From Netflix you can stream 2 seasons of this sci-fi soap opera. Each season consists of 13 episodes, each episode usually lasting exactly 42 minutes (think of the film cutting involved!)

Ignore the seemingly serious thumb print summaries above. Nothing about this pseudo sci-fi love fest should be taken seriously. Rather the point is to just relax and enjoy the corny and acceptable trash.

As far as the virtually unknown actors let us briefly note that Nathan Parsons (who plays Max Evans) is Australian and that Jeanine Mason (who plays Liz Ortecho)  won Season 5 of FOX’s “So You Think You Can Dance” and earned the title of America’s Favorite Dancer. So much for fame!

If there is anything serious about this fun time-waster, it is the theme of the problems faced by illegal immigrants. In this respect the story is often political. Border agents are painted as racist bullies.  And there there are the fairly common difficulties of drug addiction.  Finally let us not overlook the prominent gay theme.

Because season 2 ends so abruptly,  the series demands another season.

I LOVE TRASH!

2012, Acceptable for teenagers, Acceptable Trash, Adopted child, Alcoholism, Alzheimer's disease, Amazon Prime, Comedy, Corny, Dancing, Father-daughter relations, Feel Good Not For Children, Gay theme, Happy Family Gatherings, Love Story, Mother-daughter relations, Mother-son relations, Personal Betrayal, Romance, Sign language for the deaf

The Perfect Wedding (2012)

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From IMDB:

Home for the Christmas holiday, a gay man starts falling for his ex-boyfriend’s lover, not knowing that the relationship is a mere pretense.

From Amazon Prime you can stream this 1 hour 22 minute comedy romance film.

When society is having a tough time, entertainment at that time can be grim. For example, in France after WWII the outlook was bleak which may explain why for a time La Grand Guignol was a popular live performance that featured torture. When times improved, that entertainment closed down.

So here we are in July 2020 suffering from the COVID-19 caronavirus.  At the same time there are quite a few streaming offerings that are real downers. Don’t despair – “The Perfect Wedding”  is an unabashed piece of acceptable trash that is a corny feel-good soap opera. And I guarantee you a happy ending for all four couples:  Mom and Dad must confront Dad’s incipient Alzheimer’s disease;  Daughter wants to marry her boyfriend in a simple wedding; Daughter introduces her girl friend to Son’s workmate; reformed alcoholic Son will find his male soul mate.

James Rebhorn, who plays Dad, is instantly recognizable. From his sizable resumé we see that he was Frank Mathison in Homeland.

What’s not to love?  Especially when I LOVE TRASH!

 

2016, Acceptable Trash, Action Hero, Chick Flick, Conspiracy, Contract Killing, Corny, Detective, DNA, Extramarital Affair, Father-daughter relations, Flashbacks, Forensics, Frame someone for a crime, Human experimentation, Invincible Hero, Kidnapping, Netflix Streaming, Romance, Sex Scenes, Short-lived suspenseful episodes, Sister-sister relations, Soap Opera, Various Romances, Violent

Beauty and the Beast (2016)

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From IMDB

A beautiful detective falls in love with an ex-soldier who goes into hiding from the secret government organization that turned him into a mechanically charged beast.

From Netflix you can stream 4 seasons of this romantic, sci-fi piece of fluff.  But before you start, at least realize that there are 70 episodes, each episode more corny than the previous episode. Seasons 1 and 2 consist of 22 episodes each. Seasons 3 and 4 consist of 13 episodes each.

And no, I have not seen all 70 episodes. Surely, I thought, if I waded through 22 episodes the story would end. Alas, episode 22 at the very end makes it quite clear that this is the series that never ends.

With each episode there is enough repetitious romantic palaver to fill a shelf in the congressional library.  However, this series also counts as genuine escape from every day reality.  For the sake of history, future readers (if any still exist) should realize that we are now in April 2020 confronting the coronavirus and are forced to stay indoors.  Maybe 70 episodes are not so  bad after all.

As with many B+ so-called “thrillers” the stress level is kept to a minimum. No sooner have our hero and heroine been confronted with a threat, then in a mere 15 microseconds the problem is solved, usually by having our all-powerful hero turn into the “monster” and saving his damsel in distress.

At least give credit to the inventiveness:  many episodes introduce some new character with his or her own secret agenda. These days you never know what normal looking person is really a monster in disguise.

Be patient because after quite a few episodes our love duet lovers finally have sex without him turning into a monster.

And still I persist in following the nonsense. Possibly better than sitting around fretting. Am I harsh in calling this series “acceptable trash?”

2019, Acceptable for teenagers, Bad Acting, Barely Acceptable Trash, Beautiful Seaside Town, Blackmail, Bloody scenes, Career Competition, Chick Flick, Child Molestation, Contract Killing, Contract Maiming, Corny, Corruption, Dancing, Detective, Drama, Drug Dealers, Drugs, Eccentric cast of characters, Ends in Cliff Hanger, Ethical struggles, False Imprisonment, Family Conflict, Fist Fight, Frame someone for a crime, Friendship, Gangs, Gay Bashing, Gay theme, Improbable details, Latino Culture, Love Story, Male Prostitutes, Mediocre, Melodrama, Mental Illness, Mother-son relations, Motorcycles, Murder, Murder Investigation, Must suspend disbelief, Netflix Streaming, Nudity, Personal Betrayal, Plot twists, Police Corruption, Police cover-up, Police Politics, Rape, Revenge, Ridiculous plot, Soap Opera, Sometimes seems silly, Somewhat trashy, Spanish, Telenovela, Uncle-Nephew relations, Unjust crime conviction, Various Romances, Violent

Toy Boy (2019)

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From Netflix:

A stripper sets out to prove his innocence for a crime he didn’t commit and was unjustly incarcerated for seven years earlier.

From Netflix you can stream the 13 episodes (each episode about 70 minutes) of this Spanish telenovela.  Many spoken languages and caption languages are available.

Spanish telenovelas inhabit a world of their own.  Chief among their attributes are “corny”, “amateurish”,  and “sometimes really stupid.” So why on earth did I watch this unintentionally laughable marathon? Netflix seemed to promote this series, so I started. Injustice and villains always get me going.  Because I have to see justice done I just keep plodding along to the end.

Before you waste your time let me list some of the “features” of this charmer:

  •  You might enjoy listening to the original Spanish (as in Spain, not Latin America) sound track. You might want Spanish captions. At the very least it could possibly be a learning experience although there are better options.
  •  Each tension point is almost immediately resolved so you don’t have to get all worked up.  Sometimes those immediate solutions seem far fetched or just too convenient.
  • Recall that telenovelas for all their involvement with sex are really very chaste.   Certainly the endless number of male stripper dance sequences are as innocent as they are boring.
  •  Warning: From the very last scene, it is obvious that there will probably be another season or even 100 more seasons. Possibilities are endless.

You can do much better, but in a certain sense the whole production is a hoot!

2015, Acceptable for teenagers, Adultery, Amazon Prime, Antique Cars, Australian, B-movie, Bad Acting, Based on a Book, Bullying, Comedy, Corny, Cross Dressing, Eccentric cast of characters, Haute Couture, Love Story, Marital Infidelity, Mediocre, Mother-daughter relations, Murder, Outrageous Behavior, Quirky, Revenge, Sad small town, School Teacher, Senior citizens, Slapstick, Small Town, Sports, Unmarried mother, Unusual

The Dressmaker (2015)

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From IMDB:

A glamorous woman returns to her small town in rural Australia. With her sewing machine and haute couture style, she transforms the women and exacts sweet revenge on those who did her wrong.

From Amazon Prime you can stream this 2 hour film.

Revenge is the keyword in this Australian comedy-drama. Wikepedia offers you more than you probably want to know about this film. Equally important is the ever present theme of haute couture.   It stars Kate Winslet as a femme fatale in the titular role of the dressmaker, Myrtle “Tilly” Dunnage, who returns to a small Australian town to take care of her ailing, mentally unstable mother, played by Judy Davis.  Along the way we encounter a love affair, false accusations of murder, and (did we forget to mention ?) revenge.

Sometimes the acting is over the top if not downright corny. But the visual fun of the film is the outrageous cast of  characters: the policeman is a cross-dresser, Judy Davis is a positive wreck, several women are timid and unattractive until Tilly takes charge. Three quarters through the story we think we see a happy ending … but then suddenly — (you will just have to watch the film!)

Even though I would give the film a B+,  I enjoyed every minute. Visually the oddities and clothing transformations are fun to watch and the story for all its faults is engrossing.

2014, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bloody scenes, British, Corny, Crude Talk, Father-daughter relations, Not Recommended, Nudity, Outrageous Behavior, Satirical ultra-violence, Somewhat ridiculous plot, Violent

Dom Hemingway (2014)

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From Netflix:

After finishing a 12-year prison sentence, safecracker Dom Hemingway sets out to collect the money he’s owed by his former partners in crime. When that mission tanks, Dom returns to London to try and gain forgiveness from his estranged daughter.

As a violent tour-de-force for Jude Law, this film might interest you. However, I rate it as barely acceptable trash and outrageous behavior.

In order to dissuade you, I describe the very opening:

Dom Hemingway stands naked in prison. We see only his upper body. He recites a poem of praise for his “cock” while another inmate performs fellatio on him.

If that is not enough to dissuade you, what is?

One outrageous and usually violent episode follows another. Law’s acting is embarrassing at least in one scene when he visits the grave of his much abused and now dead wife.

You are warned.