Category Archives: Barely Acceptable Trash

2015, Action Film, Action Hero, Amputee, B-movie, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bloody scenes, Car Chase, Confusing Plot, Drugs, Frenetic, Invincible Hero, Mayhem, Motorcycles, Not Recommended, Nudity, Revenge, Ridiculous plot, Satirical ultra-violence, Sci-Fi, Somewhat ridiculous plot, Somewhat trashy, Unusual, Violent, Vulgar

Hardcore Harry (2015)

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From IMDB:

Henry is resurrected from death with no memory, and he must save his wife from a telekinetic warlord with a plan to bio-engineer soldiers.

Seriously in the running for “Most Mindless Film Ever Made”,  there is not a single non-violent scene (more exactly, moment) in all hour and a half of this bizarre form of entertainment. Only because of one unique feature  does this film deserve a review: You never see Harry. Instead you watch the entire sequence of (did I mention “violent”?) events through Harry’s bionic eyes. In fact, just about everything of Harry is bionic. So naturally he is physically super-capable, never misses a shot, is amazing at fist fighting. leaps over tall objects, escapes burning vehicles, and just never gives up. When the film started with a chase sequence I thought “Oh, the usual gimmick to get my attention at the beginning”. But the chase sequence NEVER ENDS.

Possibly there is a plot in there somewhere, but darn if I could figure out just exactly what was happening.

You do get the opportunity to put yourself in Harry’s place and be surrounded for possibly 10 minutes by  voluptuous, ample breasted,  naked women. Probably not a film for children.

You should have some time to waste before watching Harry (who cannot speak) do his thing. Isn’t it great to be a retired film watcher!

2014, Action Film, Action Hero, B-movie, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bloody scenes, Car Chase, Digital Effects, Drug Dealers, Drugs, Mayhem, Often downright silly, Psychedelic Visual Effects, Ridiculous plot, Strange Ending, Violent

Lucy (2014)

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From NetFlix:

In this action-thriller set in Taiwan, a young woman forced to become a drug mule for the mob develops superhuman abilities when the narcotics she’s carrying in her stomach accidentally leak into her system.

Way back in 1968 a certain subset of our population would ingest some psychedelic substance and sit for hours watching the flashing colors in the film “2001: A Space Odyssey.” But now welcome to the 21st century where you could do the same participant-watching with the mostly visual film “Lucy.” And it might as well be called a digital-visual adventure because the plot and many impossible action sequences are straight out of vaudeville.

Whatever was Morgan Freeman thinking? Scarlett Johansson at least has a history of appearing in strange films. For example, she was the voice of a computer (Samantha) in “Her”. Also she was a predatory alien in “Under the Skin.” Let us hope these actors made a lot of money while diminishing their reputations.

So why did I bother finishing the film? There are two choices: a) I was bored out of my mind, or b) I hoped that eventually the film would make sense, alas!

You probably don’t have the time for this psychedelic wonder.

2007, Anti-Arab, B-movie, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bloody scenes, Ethical struggles, Father-son relations, Grisly, Horror, Iraq War, Mental Illness, Murder, PTSD, Ridiculous plot, Violent, War, War Veterans

Stir of Echoes 2 (2007)

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From IMDB:

A soldier returns home from the Iraq war only to be haunted by visions of the dead.

Rob Lowe must have been desperate to play in this horror B-film. At least one of the sub-themes is anti-Arab prejudice resulting from the war in Iraq, which at the time of this review when Donald Trump is spewing out so much hate, is quite relevant. Except for that, however, all the gory monster appearances are not worth your time.

Oddly enough, the acting is good.

Skip this one.

2014, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bloody scenes, British, Corny, Crude Talk, Father-daughter relations, Not Recommended, Nudity, Outrageous Behavior, Satirical ultra-violence, Somewhat ridiculous plot, Violent

Dom Hemingway (2014)

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From Netflix:

After finishing a 12-year prison sentence, safecracker Dom Hemingway sets out to collect the money he’s owed by his former partners in crime. When that mission tanks, Dom returns to London to try and gain forgiveness from his estranged daughter.

As a violent tour-de-force for Jude Law, this film might interest you. However, I rate it as barely acceptable trash and outrageous behavior.

In order to dissuade you, I describe the very opening:

Dom Hemingway stands naked in prison. We see only his upper body. He recites a poem of praise for his “cock” while another inmate performs fellatio on him.

If that is not enough to dissuade you, what is?

One outrageous and usually violent episode follows another. Law’s acting is embarrassing at least in one scene when he visits the grave of his much abused and now dead wife.

You are warned.

2013, Barely Acceptable Trash, Corruption, Could Be Hard To Watch, Crude Talk, Drug Dealers, Drugs, Explicit sexual discussion, Greed, Lawyers, Mediocre, Not Recommended, Revenge, Sadism, Sex Scenes, Suspense, Violent, Vulgar

The Counselor (2013)

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From Netflix;

Michael Fassbender stars in this thriller penned by iconic novelist Cormac McCarthy as an attorney who mistakenly believes he can dabble in the drug business without any consequences — only to find himself drowning in a nightmarish downward spiral.

With a few exceptions (“In Her Shoes”, “My Best Friend’s Wedding”) Cameron Diaz has been typecast as a slut. This film is not one of those exceptions. In fact she plays a well-dressed completely amoral woman that engineers sadistic deaths for several men and women. “Sadistic” here is not an exaggeration:

  • Witness a motorcycle scene in which the rider is purposely and cleverly decapitated. Heads will roll!
  • Witness a woman’s body being thrown by earth movers into a public garbage dump. You will recognize this victim.
  • Witness an automatic, unstoppable, non-cuttable wire loop that before it strangles its victim, it cuts the carotid artery. You will also recognize this victim.

Does this sound like a sadistic gore contest?

Of course there are always the required sex scenes which in our current sex scene contest offers Cameron Diaz having sexual intercourse with an automobile. For kicks she then tries to confess to a Catholic priest who leaves the confessional in disgust.

You are hereby encouraged to SKIP THIS FILM!

2009, Barely Acceptable Trash, British, Could Be Hard To Watch, Creepy, Disturbing Image, Gangs, Horror, Not Recommended, Occasional gore, Sex Scenes, Suspense, Unusual

Heartless (2009)

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From NetFlix:

Reclusive Londoner Jamie Morgan, who bears a prominent, heart-shaped birthmark on his face yet can’t seem to find love anywhere, makes a deal with a devil-like figure to get a girl — but there’s a deadly price to pay

Never did I ever think I would watch a horror film. However, in a moment of weakness (while doing something else mundane) I allowed myself to stream from Netflix this heartless horror flick. My first inclination was to stop almost immediately until I saw that the famous British actress Ruth Sheen was Jamie’s mother. Also the part of the devil (?) was played by Joseph Mawle (Benjen Stark in “Game of Thrones“. Well, if those known actors can lower themselves to play in a horror flick, who am I to not watch and cringe along?

“Cringe” is possibly a fair choice of words because there is at least one nasty scene (i.e. ripping out someone’s heart – does that count as nasty?) for which you might brace yourself.

Oddly enough this sell-your-soul (better than working for Goldman Sachs?) plot features some good acting. Jim Sturgess (Adam in “Upside Down”) presents a very well played Jamie Morgan.

However, in the final analysis, there is a lot of silliness and gore. If you don’t have a lot of spare time on your hands (or don’t have a bank book to balance) be sure to skip this barely acceptable piece of trash.

Is this a guilty pleasure or what?

2008, AIDS, B-movie, Barely Acceptable Trash, Corny, Drugs, Dysfunctional Lives, Explicit sex, Gay theme, Gritty, Marital Infidelity, Melodrama, Murder Investigation, Not Recommended, Nudity, Prison, Religious Theme, Ridiculous plot, Sadism, Suicide, Suspense, Terrible acting, Unrealistic, Violent

The Fall (2008)

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From Netflix:

When his loser brother is accused of killing a priest, Frank (Scott Kinworthy), a hotshot lawyer with lofty political aspirations, steps in to defend him. But as Frank digs up the truth, he uncovers damning revelations from the past that could ruin his future. Written and directed by John Krueger, this suspenseful drama follows the conflicted attorney’s difficult choice between saving his sibling or himself.

If you are ever teaching a course in film writing or acting and you need an example of really bad writing or acting then have I got a HORRIBLE film you can use to great effect!

Only the (somewhat farfetched) plot kept me watching. Not that it would have cost me anything to stop watching this film streamed from Netflix. At times I sat watching in open mouthed wonder that anyone could act in such an amateurish and exaggerated manner. Think high school actors (although I have seen better acting in high school plays).

If the acting seems bad, wait till you learn the plot. Although I will spare you the gory details, this film manages to dredge up plot lines involving a hotel for gay encounters, a priest who commits a theatrical suicide, adultery, a psychotic gay prisoner, attempted murder using the AIDS disease, sadistic prison guards, a completely amoral and ambitious wife of a lawyer, and the list goes on.

Do not claim that I did not warn you! On the other hand, aren’t you really curious to see just how bad this film really is?

2004, Barely Acceptable Trash, Car Chase, Grim, Imperfect, Serial Killer, Suspense, Violent

Highwaymen (2004)

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From NetFlix:

Wheelchair-bound serial killer Fargo (Colm Feore), whose tricked-out green Cadillac serves as his deadly weapon, rages loose on the highway, and the only man who can stop his rampage is Rennie (James Caviezel), the husband of a woman he’s murdered. When Rennie teams up with a survivor of one of Fargo’s rampages (Rhona Mitra), the pair vows to stop him before he flattens anyone else. Frankie Faison co-stars in this deadly game of cat-and-mouse.

In this car chase film the only novelty is that one of the chasers is an automotive serial killer who runs over people for the fun of it. If this sounds like a film to skip, you are absolutely correct.

You might recognize Rhona Mitra as one of the temporary employees in “Boston Legal”.

Try another film.