Category Archives: B-movie

2015, Action Film, Action Hero, Amputee, B-movie, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bloody scenes, Car Chase, Confusing Plot, Drugs, Frenetic, Invincible Hero, Mayhem, Motorcycles, Not Recommended, Nudity, Revenge, Ridiculous plot, Satirical ultra-violence, Sci-Fi, Somewhat ridiculous plot, Somewhat trashy, Unusual, Violent, Vulgar

Hardcore Harry (2015)

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From IMDB:

Henry is resurrected from death with no memory, and he must save his wife from a telekinetic warlord with a plan to bio-engineer soldiers.

Seriously in the running for “Most Mindless Film Ever Made”,  there is not a single non-violent scene (more exactly, moment) in all hour and a half of this bizarre form of entertainment. Only because of one unique feature  does this film deserve a review: You never see Harry. Instead you watch the entire sequence of (did I mention “violent”?) events through Harry’s bionic eyes. In fact, just about everything of Harry is bionic. So naturally he is physically super-capable, never misses a shot, is amazing at fist fighting. leaps over tall objects, escapes burning vehicles, and just never gives up. When the film started with a chase sequence I thought “Oh, the usual gimmick to get my attention at the beginning”. But the chase sequence NEVER ENDS.

Possibly there is a plot in there somewhere, but darn if I could figure out just exactly what was happening.

You do get the opportunity to put yourself in Harry’s place and be surrounded for possibly 10 minutes by  voluptuous, ample breasted,  naked women. Probably not a film for children.

You should have some time to waste before watching Harry (who cannot speak) do his thing. Isn’t it great to be a retired film watcher!

1996, Acceptable Sci-Fi, Acceptable Trash, Amazon Prime, Arson, B-movie, Bad Acting, Conspiracy, Digital Effects, Frenetic, Nasty Aliens, Nothing special, Sci-Fi, Suspense

The Arrival (1996)

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From IMDB:

Zane, an astronomer, discovers intelligent alien life. But the aliens are keeping a deadly secret, and will do anything to stop Zane from learning it.

Interested in a sci-fi film with interesting special effects, a story that kept me involved, and REALLY BAD ACTING? Then why not tolerate “The Arrival”  which you can stream from Amazon Prime ?

Lindsay Crouse, who was once married to David Mamet, is local to the Boston area. We often see her live in plays at the Gloucester Stage. She reads her lines a bit stiffly.

Enough said about the rightfully paranoid Zane, almost played by Charlie Sheen.

As chief alien we have Ron Silver, who died in 2009. You will probably recognize him as Bruno Gianelli from “The West Wing”. He actually gets the part right.

Suspend a lot of disbelief and either enjoy or make fun of this second-rate romp.

2014, Action Film, Action Hero, B-movie, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bloody scenes, Car Chase, Digital Effects, Drug Dealers, Drugs, Mayhem, Often downright silly, Psychedelic Visual Effects, Ridiculous plot, Strange Ending, Violent

Lucy (2014)

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From NetFlix:

In this action-thriller set in Taiwan, a young woman forced to become a drug mule for the mob develops superhuman abilities when the narcotics she’s carrying in her stomach accidentally leak into her system.

Way back in 1968 a certain subset of our population would ingest some psychedelic substance and sit for hours watching the flashing colors in the film “2001: A Space Odyssey.” But now welcome to the 21st century where you could do the same participant-watching with the mostly visual film “Lucy.” And it might as well be called a digital-visual adventure because the plot and many impossible action sequences are straight out of vaudeville.

Whatever was Morgan Freeman thinking? Scarlett Johansson at least has a history of appearing in strange films. For example, she was the voice of a computer (Samantha) in “Her”. Also she was a predatory alien in “Under the Skin.” Let us hope these actors made a lot of money while diminishing their reputations.

So why did I bother finishing the film? There are two choices: a) I was bored out of my mind, or b) I hoped that eventually the film would make sense, alas!

You probably don’t have the time for this psychedelic wonder.

2007, Anti-Arab, B-movie, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bloody scenes, Ethical struggles, Father-son relations, Grisly, Horror, Iraq War, Mental Illness, Murder, PTSD, Ridiculous plot, Violent, War, War Veterans

Stir of Echoes 2 (2007)

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From IMDB:

A soldier returns home from the Iraq war only to be haunted by visions of the dead.

Rob Lowe must have been desperate to play in this horror B-film. At least one of the sub-themes is anti-Arab prejudice resulting from the war in Iraq, which at the time of this review when Donald Trump is spewing out so much hate, is quite relevant. Except for that, however, all the gory monster appearances are not worth your time.

Oddly enough, the acting is good.

Skip this one.

2013, Amish Culture, B-movie, Brother-Sister Relations, Family Conflict, Imperfect, Mediocre, Profiler, Rape, Serial Killer, Suicide, Suspense

An Amish Murder (2013)

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From NetFlix:

Years after a series of murders tore apart her Amish hometown when she was a girl, a woman returns home to be the police chief as the killings resume.

Except for the Amish flavor, this so-so TV movie about a serial killer is nothing special. In fact the Amish culture is interesting in itself and does play into the plot.

Note briefly that the star Neve Campbell (who plays Kate Burkholder) and Christian Campbell (who plays Kate’s bother Christian) are in fact brother and sister.

Ignore unlikely situations and there might be enough suspense to keep you interested.

2006, Acceptable Trash, B-movie, Corny at times, Crude Talk, Love Story, Nudity, Revenge, Ridiculous plot, Sex Scenes, Slapstick

My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006)

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From Netflix:

Fed up with his manipulative girlfriend, Jenny Johnson (Uma Thurman), New Yorker Matt Saunders (Luke Wilson) gives her the heave-ho and moves on with his life, leaving the heartbroken Jenny — aka G-girl — to do everything within her superpowers to humiliate Matt. Anna Faris, Rainn Wilson and Eddie Izzard co-star in director Ivan Reitman’s slapstick fantasy comedy about a bitter superwoman scorned.

In a moment of TV Wasteland desperation, Kathy and I happened upon this comedy on one of our many HBO channels. Kathy sniffed in disdain and then joined me in laughing at some of the great sight gags. To be sure, this is a B-film which can be silly, vulgar, corny, and still funny enough to be worth the watch.

Much of the humor centers around sex (shocking, right?). Sex with a powerful super hero woman anyone ? Sex while flying in the sky anyone ? What’s not to like ?

Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson, and Rainn Wilson (Dwight Schrute of “The Office”) are featured in the cast.

Have some off-color fun!

2013, Abduction, B-movie, Car Chase, Child abduction and murder, Complicated, Conspiracy, Crime, Mediocre, Murder, Not Recommended, Revenge, Torture, Violent

Collision (2013)

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From Netflix;

On their honeymoon in Morocco, Scott and Taylor Dolan set off on a day trip through the Sahara. When something goes terribly wrong, the couple find themselves stranded in the middle of the remote desert with no way home.

Put about a dozen disparate characters at a crash site in the desert. Learn their secrets one by one. Watch almost everyone of them die or go to prison or get away with murder. Endure a lot of violence and not terribly good lines.

Can you say “Skip this one”?

2000, Acceptable for children, B-movie, Based on true facts, Black History, Corny at times, Deep Sea Diving, Feel Good For All, Human spirit, Mediocre, Military, Navy, Navy Diver, Sea Rescue, True Story

Men of Honor (2000)

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From Netflix:

Against formidable odds — and an old-school diving instructor embittered by the U.S. Navy’s new, less prejudicial policies — Carl Brashear sets his sights on becoming the Navy’s first African-American master diver in this uplifting true story.

HBO recently showed this 14-year old film. As with most films about real-life heroes (military and other), the story is compelling while the film can be a bit corny, as in “wearing your emotions on your sleeve”. Nonetheless, Carl Brashear was brave, persistent, and an admirable role-model.

Spoiler: this old-fashioned film has a happy ending. Give the film a B and enjoy it.

2013, Abduction, Acceptable Trash, Action Film, Action Hero, Addiction, B-movie, Boxing, Bullying, Car Chase, Crude Talk, Drug Dealers, Drugs, Dysfunctional Lives, Gangs, Mayhem, Mixed Martial Arts, Motorcycles, Revenge, Sad small town, School Teacher, Suspense, Violent, Vulgar

Homefront (2013)

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From Netflix:

When ex-DEA agent Phil Broker is widowed, he moves with his 10-year-old daughter to a small town in pursuit of a quiet life, but he finds his dream destroyed by a murderous drug trafficker, Gator, and his gang of meth-making thugs.

Once again you have already seen this film with many other names. Jason Statham films are all more or less the same: really nasty bad people trying to kill really good (albeit a bit violent) people like our hero Jason and his 10-year old daughter.

Laugh all you want: I was once again glued to my seat. Does Jason Statham use a double? He sure can fist fight and shoot guns and do kick boxing and do somersaults and withstand water boarding (which according to President Cheney is NOT torture). What a hero!

There has to be a reason what these films are so popular. Putting snobbery aside, they are CONSISTENT. Story line manages to insert human interest, acting is reasonably good, car chases well filmed. Plant a radish, get a radish. You know what you are getting when you invest precious time in a Jason Statham film.

One of my many guilty pleasures.

2003, Acceptable for children, Acceptable Sci-Fi, Acceptable Trash, Action Film, Adventure, B-movie, Based on true facts, Corny, Hundred Years' War, Military, Sci-Fi, Suspense, Violent

Timeline (2003)

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From Netflix:

In the near future, when a technology corporation has created a method for traveling into the past, a history professor gets trapped in 1357 France, prompting his students and son to travel back in time and face untold perils to rescue him.

In yet another B-movie 30-year-old Paul Walker and 34-year-old Gerard Butler get to travel back to France during the Hundred Years’ War. (Old films certainly show us how quickly we age.) Who knows how historically accurate the life of that era is portrayed? At any rate this is NOT a film to be taken seriously. Just in case you don’t remember intimately the details of the Hundred Years’ War, you can always read the Wikipedia account from which the following quote is taken:

The Hundred Years’ War, a series of conflicts waged from 1337 to 1453, pitted the Kingdom of England against the Valois Capetians for control of the French throne. Each side drew many allies into the fighting.

The war had its roots in a dynastic disagreement dating back to the time of William the Conqueror, who became King of England in 1066 while retaining possession of the Duchy of Normandy in France. As the rulers of Normandy and other lands on the continent, the English kings owed feudal homage to the King of France. In 1337, Edward III of England refused to pay homage to Philip VI of France, leading the French King to claim confiscation of Edward’s lands in Aquitaine.

Edward responded by declaring himself to be the rightful King of France rather than Philip, a claim dating to 1328 when Edward’s uncle, Charles IV of France, died without a direct male heir. Edward was the closest male relative of the dead king, as son of Isabella of France who was a daughter of Philip IV of France and a sister of Charles IV. But instead, the dead king’s cousin, Philip VI, the son of Philip IV’s younger brother, Charles, Count of Valois, had become King of France in accordance with Salic law, which disqualified the succession of males descended through female lines. The question of legal succession to the French crown was central to the war over generations of English and French claimants.

As far as this B-film none of that matters. Just grab some popcorn and chill out with the on-screen corn.