Category Archives: Acceptable Trash

1999, Acceptable Trash, AIDS, B-movie, Basically Sad, Crude Talk, Disturbing Image, Dysfunctional Lives, Explicit sex, Gay theme, Gloomy, Imperfect, Love Story, Mediocre, Sex Scenes, Unusual

The Velocity of Gary (1999)

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From NetFlix:

Though they’re rivals for the love of a bisexual porn star named Valentino, an aimless hustler and a volcanic waitress must find a way to set aside their differences as Valentino gradually succumbs to the AIDs virus.

If you are a Vincent D’Onofrio fan, then you are already used to abnormal behavior. In this poorly written film you get to see known stars at an early stage in their careers: VinceD’Onofrio (“Law and Order: Criminal Intent”), Thomas Jane (“Hung”), Salma Hayek (“Desperado”), and Ethan Hawke (“Gattaca”).

This review of a poor film is NOT a recommendation. But if you really want to see D’Onofrio and Jane engaging in French kissing, be my guest. Who would have thought?

2003, Acceptable Trash, British, Comedy, Nudity, Slapstick

Johnny English (2003)

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From NetFlix:

There’s a Frenchman after the crown jewels and the throne itself — but not to worry, Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson) is on the case. Well, actually … maybe a little worrying isn’t out of order, considering how clumsy Johnny can be! Luckily, his zeal more than makes up for his bumbling manner. Let’s hope that can help solve the crime of the century; if not, love in the form of double agent Lorna Campbell (Natalie Imbruglia) might.

British slapstick is not for everyone. However, if you have enjoyed Rowan Atkinson (“Mister Bean”, “Blackadder”) in the past, then you may get some real belly laughs watching this farce.

Let us hope that John Malkovich who plays “Pascal Sauvage, the Greedy Frenchman” made a lot of money playing in this comedy because I found his performance embarrassingly bad.

Have fun and always remember — I LOVE TRASH!

2012, Acceptable Trash, B-movie, Car Chase, Crude Talk, Explicit sexual discussion, Gangs, Mediocre, Optimistic, Sex Scenes, Violent

This Means War (2012)

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From NetFlix:

Each determined to win the heart of a sexy blonde bombshell, two best friends and CIA spies turn their secret-agent skills against each other, heedless of the ever-widening trail of wreckage and collateral damage they leave in their wake.

“Acceptable Chick Flick Trash” fairly well summarizes this B-film. As you might expect you will encounter crude language, much talk about penises, flirting, sex scenes, etc. What you might not expect are all the CIA action sequences with lots of shooting. Except for the final action sequence that actually involves Reese Witherspoon, the other action sequences seem almost pointless.

Chris Pine you know as Will from “Unstoppable”. Tom Hardy is more of a newcomer to film. He was one of the fighting brothers in “Warrior”.

Having prepared you for the worst, you are now free to sit back and just enjoy the trash.

I LOVE TRASH!

2011, Acceptable Trash, Documentary, Motorcycles, Nudity, True Story

Corman’s World (2011)

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From NetFlix:

B-movie maestro Roger Corman is celebrated in this star-packed documentary. While trafficking in movies featuring lots of blood, violence and nudity, Corman nonetheless managed to tackle issues like race and sexism with his independent features. Luminaries including Martin Scorsese, Ron Howard, Robert De Niro and Jonathan Demme offer their reflections on the legacy of this purveyor of thrills and chills.

Roger Corman managed to make about 300 films, most of which were horrible schlockfests. But that is the beauty of camp films, they are so horrible that they are just plan fun. In one film the monster from outer space is a great big paper bag with a painted face and an open mouth through which someone now and then squirts red juice.

Real film history is involved here. We think of Jack Nicholson, Dennis Hopper, Peter Fonda, and William Shatner as established stars. But they got their start and continued help from Roger Corman.

Corman did make some notable films: “Easy Rider” and “Jaws” to name just two.

Part of the film is a tribute to Corman, who somehow never got the respect he deserved.

At one point Corman was making a film a month. He had no money and made these movies as cheaply as possible. But he made money on all his films except for one: he naively went down south when desegregation was just starting and made a film about a lynching.

If for no other reason, you can watch this documentary just to see the outrageously stupid and funny clips from his films.

2011, Acceptable Trash, Bullying, Comedy, Explicit sexual discussion, Mediocre, Nudity, Revenge, Sex Scenes, Vulgar

Horrible Bosses (2011)

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From NetFlix:

Disgruntled buddies Nick (Jason Bateman), Kurt (Jason Sudeikis) and Dale (Charlie Day) can’t leave their miserable jobs, so they cook up a creative strategy for eliminating each other’s micromanaging and maniacal employers (Jennifer Aniston, Colin Farrell, Kevin Spacey) instead in this crackpot comedy. Peculiar advice from con artist Motherf**ker Jones (Jamie Foxx) gets the scheme in motion, but the pals can’t keep the wheels from flying off.

While I was busy shredding various pieces of paper it was appropriate to also watch this barely acceptable C-film. Every now and then mixed in with all the crude language were some really good laughs. Revenge films always get to me because I want to see the villains get what is coming to them.

Kevin Spacey reminds me of Anthony Hopkins in one respect: both men have done some fine acting, but some reason (money ?) they have also appeared in some really stupid films that would seem beneath their level of ability. Best to watch Kevin Spacey in Margin Call (2011). Best to watch Anthony Hopkins in “Remains of the Day” instead of, groan, “Zorro”. Probably I should say the same for Colin Farrell, whom I did not even recognize as the coke-head. Best to watch him in In Bruges (2008).

On the other hand Jason Bateman (“Arrested Development”), Jason Sudeikis (“The Bounty Hunter”), Charlie Day (“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”), and Jennifer Aniston (“The Bounty Hunter”) are just where they belong.

Need to zone out and avoid any thought whatsoever ? Try this funny-in-parts film.

2011, Acceptable for children, Acceptable Trash, Cowboy, Mayhem, Sci-Fi

Cowboys and Aliens (2011)

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From NetFlix:

Scott Mitchell Rosenberg’s graphic novel series leaps to the screen as amnesiac gunslinger Jake Lonergan (Daniel Craig) stumbles into the Wild West town of Absolution, where he’s confronted by potent enemy Col. Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford) and a terrifying problem: invading aliens. Aided by the lovely Ella (Olivia Wilde), Jake rallies a posse of the townspeople, Dolarhyde’s minions and local Apache warriors to fight off the extraterrestrial threat.

While flying us to London British Airways showed this film. Acceptable trash such as this is just fine for an unthinking air flight where the best outcome might be going to sleep.

Daniel Craig should stick to better films such as Defiance (2008). Maybe he is tired of being James Bond.

Harrison Ford was 69 years old for the filming. For me he will always be Indiana Jones.

Kids will love it!

2010, Acceptable Trash, Bullying, Dark, Disturbing Image, Drama, Grim, Horror, Made For TV, Occasional gore, Sex Scenes, Suspense, Zombies

The Walking Dead (2010)

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From NetFlix:

Sheriff’s deputy Rick Grimes awakens from a coma to discover the world plagued by zombies and small bands of human survivors forced into small, fiercely protective groups. Falling back on his old job, Rick sets out to lead mankind out of darkness.

While giving blood samples (coincidence ?) at my yearly physical I got to talking with the medical assistant about TV series. We both liked “True Blood” and “Six Feet Under” and “Dexter” which prompted her to suggest “The Walking Dead”. Zombies? You have to be kidding!

Believe it or not, despite the proliferation of zombies, the writing and acting and plot line are all well done. Expect a lot of suspense and, of course, gore. But it is the human interaction that makes the series worth watching. Who’d a thunk it!

2011, Acceptable for children, Acceptable Trash, Could be boring, Fantasy, Mediocre, Sci-Fi, Super Hero

Thor (2011)

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From NetFlix:

Kenneth Branagh directs this Marvel Comics-inspired action flick about the thunder god Thor (Chris Hemsworth), a powerful warrior whose father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins) — the king of Asgard — forces him to live among humans on Earth and learn humility. Once there, he finds a friend (Natalie Portman), along with unexpected enemies sent from his world. Kat Dennings, Stellan Skarsgård and Rene Russo co-star.

Making this film at least helped keep the actors employed. What other reason could there be for a talented man like Kenneth Branagh using (wasting ?) his time directing this B- movie for kids ? Of course Anthony Hopkins has been appearing in junk films for a long while. Newer talent such as the 28 year old Australian Chris Hemsworth can use the screen time. But what is the ever beautiful “Black Swan” Natalie Portman doing in such schlock? Do you suppose I could have had at least a minor role in this film?

Fairly gratuitous special digital effects are what this adventure offers. Certainly kids will enjoy the often violent fun. But digital violence never seems as real as, say, a hurtful comment. As for sex, Natalie gives Chris a real smoocher of a kiss. Adults will just have to suffer along.

Adios, I am off to another superhero spectacle!

2011, Acceptable Trash, Comedy, Corny, Nudity, Sex Scenes, Slapstick, Vulgar

Cedar Rapids (2011)

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From NetFlix:

Terrified of leaving his tiny town for the first time, sheltered insurance salesman Tim (Ed Helms) nervously sets out for the bright lights of bustling Cedar Rapids, where he attends a chaotic insurance convention and learns how to survive in the real world. Miguel Arteta directs this delightful fish-out-of-water comedy that also features Sigourney Weaver, Rob Corddry, John C. Reilly and Anne Heche.

Lebanon, PA (2010) and “Cedar Rapids” are two films about small-town USA that could not be more different. Whereas the former touches sensitively on contemporary problems, the latter is a vulgar romp at an insurance convention.

Which is not to say this B-movie doesn’t offer at least something worth saying. As luck would have it I convinced my wife Kathy that we could watch this film together. As far as I know, Kathy has forgiven me. In fact we both learned some really crass and original sexual remarks that were a revelation. John C. Reilly expertly paints himself as a gross, aging, alcoholic adolescent who eventually grew on me (is that a good sign ?).

Underneath this layer of prurience there is a story. Ed Helms (Stu in the “Hangover” films , is there a pattern here ?) plays in somewhat an exaggerated and at time embarrassing manner the role of a timid, naive, and very honest insurance salesman Tim whose experiences at this convention sadly teach him the not-so-honest ways of this world. You just have to accept that such a person could possibly exist and would triumph unbelievably in the end.

Meanwhile just sit back, learn some really colorful language, and watch (or cringe at) the fun.

2004, Acceptable Trash, Car Chase, Dark, Gay theme, Graphic Novel, Mayhem, Revenge, Sadism, Super Hero, Torture, Violent

The Punisher (2004)

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From NetFlix:

Undercover FBI agent Frank Castle (Thomas Jane) is crushed when his wife and children are killed after accidentally witnessing a mafia hit. So with nothing left to lose or to live for, Castle becomes “The Punisher” — a one-man judge, jury and executioner. John Travolta, Laura Harring, Samantha Yathis and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos co-star in this moody action film based on the adventures of the popular Marvel Comics character.

Murderous Marvel Mayhem for Misguided MovieFans.

Yes, it is just kid stuff watching 35 year old Thomas Jane play a brooding, alcoholic Marvel comic “superhero”. So why would you ever watch this film ?

  • You love violence and mayhem.
  • You love revenge supposedly justified as “justice”.
  • You love seeing our hero get beat up repeatedly and yet bouncing back each time.
  • You love wondering just how our hero will escape from his latest predicament (and he always does in some clever fashion).
  • You think John Travolta makes a super villain.
  • Your hobby is exploding automobiles.
  • You have nothing better to do.