Category Archives: Unrealistic

Action Film, Action Hero, Chase film, Frenetic, Invincible Hero, Mayhem, Murder Investigation, Police Corruption, Some exaggerated violence, Suspense, Unrealistic, Violent

Schutzengel (2012)

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From IMDB:

A troubled veteran from the war in Afghanistan works to protect an orphaned teenager who witnessed a murder from the killer’s henchmen.

My German son-in-law Thomas played his European version DVD
of this German film (with English or German subtitles) for me when we visited Thomas and daughter Kate in London. Amazon sells both a Blu-ray and DVD version, BUT I am not sure these versions can be played in the USA.

Til Schweiger is a famous German movie star whom you may recognize as Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz in “Inglourious Basterds” from 2009. In Schutzengel (which means “guardian angel”) he is a brooding action figure that is seemingly invincible. Against a dozen armed assassins he never seems to miss a shot. In this film his daughter Luna Schweiger plays a young orphan.

Good guy versus a bunch of bad guys makes for some fun action.

2011, 2012, Acceptable Trash, Action Film, Action Hero, Amnesia, CIA, Complicated, Computer geeks, Conspiracy, Corruption, Imperfect, Love Story, Mediocre, Netflix Streaming, Nothing special, Often downright silly, Political Suspense, Ridiculous plot, Somewhat ridiculous plot, Suspense, Terrible acting, Thriller, Unrealistic, Violent

XIII: The Series (2011)

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From Netflix:

A highly trained former secret operative cannot remember his past. To rediscover it, he must take on missions from those he cannot trust.

Each of season one and season two offer 13 episodes. All 26 episodes may be streamed from Netflix. Would you really do that?

Stuart Townsend (who was Jack McAllister in the TV series “Betrayal”) plays Agent XIII, a super human who almost never loses a fight, who leaps onto running trains, who comes back from torture with nary a scratch, and so on. Remember the old weekly movie series: At the end of episode N our hero is in a terrible jam and about to perish. At the beginning of episode N+1 our hero moves on the next challenge. Just suspend disbelief and watch XIII and his sidekick Jones (played by Aisha Tyler) battle moles in the CIA, a corrupt ex-President, sadistic assassins, paranoid survivalists, and the list goes on.

If you can do other things (such as fold laundry) while you watch one of the innumerable episodes, at least the time spent will not be a complete loss.

2008, AIDS, B-movie, Barely Acceptable Trash, Corny, Drugs, Dysfunctional Lives, Explicit sex, Gay theme, Gritty, Marital Infidelity, Melodrama, Murder Investigation, Not Recommended, Nudity, Prison, Religious Theme, Ridiculous plot, Sadism, Suicide, Suspense, Terrible acting, Unrealistic, Violent

The Fall (2008)

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From Netflix:

When his loser brother is accused of killing a priest, Frank (Scott Kinworthy), a hotshot lawyer with lofty political aspirations, steps in to defend him. But as Frank digs up the truth, he uncovers damning revelations from the past that could ruin his future. Written and directed by John Krueger, this suspenseful drama follows the conflicted attorney’s difficult choice between saving his sibling or himself.

If you are ever teaching a course in film writing or acting and you need an example of really bad writing or acting then have I got a HORRIBLE film you can use to great effect!

Only the (somewhat farfetched) plot kept me watching. Not that it would have cost me anything to stop watching this film streamed from Netflix. At times I sat watching in open mouthed wonder that anyone could act in such an amateurish and exaggerated manner. Think high school actors (although I have seen better acting in high school plays).

If the acting seems bad, wait till you learn the plot. Although I will spare you the gory details, this film manages to dredge up plot lines involving a hotel for gay encounters, a priest who commits a theatrical suicide, adultery, a psychotic gay prisoner, attempted murder using the AIDS disease, sadistic prison guards, a completely amoral and ambitious wife of a lawyer, and the list goes on.

Do not claim that I did not warn you! On the other hand, aren’t you really curious to see just how bad this film really is?

2012, Crude Talk, Depression, Drama, Gay theme, Hebrew, Jewish Culture, Medical Theme, Military, Nudity, Quiet, Unrealistic

Yossi (2012)

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From Netflix:

While driving through a remote part of Israel, a closeted gay doctor crosses paths with a group of soldiers who inspire him to live life in the open. Ohad Knoller reprises the title role in this sequel to Yossi & Jagger.

Before seeing this film, you should watch the first of the 2-film series entitled Yossi & Jagger. Briefly we recall the plot of this first film: Jossi and Jagger are two (male) Israeli soldiers and lovers at their war front. Jagger is killed in action. For me this film was a chance to experience some of the life of the men and women in the Israeli army.

In this second film and 10 years later Jossi is a cardiologist. He is overweight, closeted, still in mourning, and leads a dismal, inactive, non-life. In one sense, what kept the movie interesting for me was Jossi’s refusal to react to any stimulus or friendly offer of some activity. Supposedly the “happy” ending is his finding someone to love. HOWEVER (and other critics disliked the same things) his new love, Tom, is a much younger, fitter soldier who forces Jossi to react to his overtures. Tom says he is attracted to Jossi’s intelligence. They have a one-night stand after which Jossi proposes that they spend their life together. None of this is realistic and seemed to me almost silly.

In summary I was moved by Jossi’s suffering (probably clinical depression) and waited hopefully for some solution. If only that solution had made some sense.

Instead, why not watch a wonderful film by the same director called Walk On Water ?