Category Archives: Ridiculous plot

Noah (2014)

From Netflix:

This ambitious adaptation of the story of Noah depicts the visions that led him to voice dire prophesies of apocalypse and to build an ark to survive. As he labors to save his family, Noah asks for help from a band of angels called the Watchers.

Half of this film is somewhat ridiculous. Following a fanciful and jumbled interpretation of the Bible book of Genesis, we meet Noah and his family somehow surviving in a barren middle of nowhere, doing their best to avoid the sinful descendants of Cain (who slew his brother Abel) who have managed to ruin the earth. Due to a series of visions Noah is convinced that humanity will be punished and should be eliminated.

After a forest miraculously sprouts up around him (don’t ask!) , Noah gets help building an arc from a band of outlandishly conceived Watchers who most closely resemble moving rock piles.

We watch in wonder as zillions of birds, snakes, reptiles, and mammals somehow fit into this wooden monstrosity.

So why did I continue watching this Bible-rama?

  • Russell Crowe does a pretty good job as an anguished man determined to do what he thinks is God’s will.
  • As unsubtle as it is, the idea of humanity producing its own demise is all too realistic. (Advice: take swimming lessons)
  • Just how two sons and one daughter-in-law will go forth and multiply is tricky.

Once again, the film was worth watching at least on a seven hour plane ride.

The Fall (2008)

From Netflix:

When his loser brother is accused of killing a priest, Frank (Scott Kinworthy), a hotshot lawyer with lofty political aspirations, steps in to defend him. But as Frank digs up the truth, he uncovers damning revelations from the past that could ruin his future. Written and directed by John Krueger, this suspenseful drama follows the conflicted attorney’s difficult choice between saving his sibling or himself.

If you are ever teaching a course in film writing or acting and you need an example of really bad writing or acting then have I got a HORRIBLE film you can use to great effect!

Only the (somewhat farfetched) plot kept me watching. Not that it would have cost me anything to stop watching this film streamed from Netflix. At times I sat watching in open mouthed wonder that anyone could act in such an amateurish and exaggerated manner. Think high school actors (although I have seen better acting in high school plays).

If the acting seems bad, wait till you learn the plot. Although I will spare you the gory details, this film manages to dredge up plot lines involving a hotel for gay encounters, a priest who commits a theatrical suicide, adultery, a psychotic gay prisoner, attempted murder using the AIDS disease, sadistic prison guards, a completely amoral and ambitious wife of a lawyer, and the list goes on.

Do not claim that I did not warn you! On the other hand, aren’t you really curious to see just how bad this film really is?