Category Archives: Ridiculous plot

2011, Acceptable for teenagers, Action Film, Action sequences, Amazon Prime, B-movie, Ballet, Bureaucracy, Corny at times, Fantasy, Happy ending, Love Story, Mediocre, NOT violent, Ridiculous plot, Suspense

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

From Amazon Prime:

A prominent politician meets a beautiful ballerina and instantly falls in love. However, when mysterious men conspire to keep the pair apart, he is forced to make the wrenching choice between his predetermined path and the only woman he has ever loved.

From Amazon Prime you can stream this 1 hour 46 minute romantic fantasy film.

Matt Damon has managed to keep getting acting roles.  As a person he is very appealing while as an actor he is so-so.  Speaking of so-so, so is this foolish plot. Supposedly there is this supernatural bureaucracy that plots the life of each person and keeps that plot in some magical notebook.  Need I go on?

Pleasant enough to watch. Give it a B minus.

2010, Acceptable Trash, Amazon Prime, B-movie, Car Chase, Chase film, Comedy, Contract Killing, Everybody lies, Exaggeration Comedy, Extreme Violence as Comedy, Father-daughter relations, Frenetic, Government-hired assassin, Happy ending, Martial Arts, Mayhem, Mother-daughter relations, Physical fighting, Ridiculous plot, Romantic comedy, Ruthless Killer, Surprise Ending, Violent

Killers (2010)

From Amazon Prime:

Spencer Aimes (Ashton Kutcher) is just your average, undercover, government-hired super-assassin. When he meets Jen Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigl), he finds true love… Enjoying a picture-perfect marriage, Spencer becomes the target of a multi-million dollar hit. Now Spencer and Jen are on the run for their lives.

From Amazon Prime you can stream this 1 hour 40 minute complete film.

Why brood over Putin’s invasion of the Ukraine when you could waste some quality time watching this B+ rom-com violent piece of cinematic fluff?

Did I mention that this film is violent from start to finish?  However, as bizarre as it sounds, the constant shooting, car chases, and martial arts fighting are not to be taken seriously and are really part of the fun.

Tom Selleck plays Tom Selleck, which actually works well in this plot.

Moreover, everyone except the scores of dead people live happily ever after.

2019, Abduction, Abortion, Acceptable Trash, Bad Acting, Bloody scenes, Brother-Brother relations, Corny at times, Cross Dressing, Dark family secrets, False Imprisonment, Family Conflict, Fantasy, Fist Fight, Flashbacks, Frame someone for a crime, Gay Bashing, Gay theme, Good Brother - Bad Brother, Human experimentation, Mediocre, Murder, Netflix Streaming, Rape, Religious Cult, Religious fanatic, Religious Nonsense, Ridiculous plot, Romance, Suspense, Violent

Glitch (2019)

From Netflix:

A police officer and a doctor face an emotionally charged
mystery when seven local residents inexplicably return
from the dead in peak physical form.

From IMDB:

Six people return from the dead with no memory and attempt to unveil what brought them to the grave in the first place.

From Netflix you can patiently (if that is possible in this sad case) stream 3 seasons of unreality. Each season contains 6 wonder-filled episodes of about 54 minutes length.

Succinctly put, these 18 episodes present almost acceptable nonsense for the truly bored.   Each of the “arisen” was murdered in his or her former life and have been given a chance to discover the murderer and to right past wrongs.  At least at first my attention was fixated on amending past injustice. In addition, there are actually some small patches of good acting and character interaction. Unfortunately there was an equal amount of really bad, maudlin (i.e. weeping) acting. As time wore on, good guys became bad guys and sometime became good guys again. Moreover when the plot devolved into the hero-villains trying to save the universe from ending,  I almost threw in the towel. For better or worse I persisted to the end. Now I have to find another trash series.

Waste no time on this clunker.

2019, Acceptable for teenagers, Bad Acting, Barely Acceptable Trash, Beautiful Seaside Town, Blackmail, Bloody scenes, Career Competition, Chick Flick, Child Molestation, Contract Killing, Contract Maiming, Corny, Corruption, Dancing, Detective, Drama, Drug Dealers, Drugs, Eccentric cast of characters, Ends in Cliff Hanger, Ethical struggles, False Imprisonment, Family Conflict, Fist Fight, Frame someone for a crime, Friendship, Gangs, Gay Bashing, Gay theme, Improbable details, Latino Culture, Love Story, Male Prostitutes, Mediocre, Melodrama, Mental Illness, Mother-son relations, Motorcycles, Murder, Murder Investigation, Must suspend disbelief, Netflix Streaming, Nudity, Personal Betrayal, Plot twists, Police Corruption, Police cover-up, Police Politics, Rape, Revenge, Ridiculous plot, Soap Opera, Sometimes seems silly, Somewhat trashy, Spanish, Telenovela, Uncle-Nephew relations, Unjust crime conviction, Various Romances, Violent

Toy Boy (2019)

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From Netflix:

A stripper sets out to prove his innocence for a crime he didn’t commit and was unjustly incarcerated for seven years earlier.

From Netflix you can stream the 13 episodes (each episode about 70 minutes) of this Spanish telenovela.  Many spoken languages and caption languages are available.

Spanish telenovelas inhabit a world of their own.  Chief among their attributes are “corny”, “amateurish”,  and “sometimes really stupid.” So why on earth did I watch this unintentionally laughable marathon? Netflix seemed to promote this series, so I started. Injustice and villains always get me going.  Because I have to see justice done I just keep plodding along to the end.

Before you waste your time let me list some of the “features” of this charmer:

  •  You might enjoy listening to the original Spanish (as in Spain, not Latin America) sound track. You might want Spanish captions. At the very least it could possibly be a learning experience although there are better options.
  •  Each tension point is almost immediately resolved so you don’t have to get all worked up.  Sometimes those immediate solutions seem far fetched or just too convenient.
  • Recall that telenovelas for all their involvement with sex are really very chaste.   Certainly the endless number of male stripper dance sequences are as innocent as they are boring.
  •  Warning: From the very last scene, it is obvious that there will probably be another season or even 100 more seasons. Possibilities are endless.

You can do much better, but in a certain sense the whole production is a hoot!

2015, Action Film, Action Hero, Amputee, B-movie, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bloody scenes, Car Chase, Confusing Plot, Drugs, Frenetic, Invincible Hero, Mayhem, Motorcycles, Not Recommended, Nudity, Revenge, Ridiculous plot, Satirical ultra-violence, Sci-Fi, Somewhat ridiculous plot, Somewhat trashy, Unusual, Violent, Vulgar

Hardcore Harry (2015)

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From IMDB:

Henry is resurrected from death with no memory, and he must save his wife from a telekinetic warlord with a plan to bio-engineer soldiers.

Seriously in the running for “Most Mindless Film Ever Made”,  there is not a single non-violent scene (more exactly, moment) in all hour and a half of this bizarre form of entertainment. Only because of one unique feature  does this film deserve a review: You never see Harry. Instead you watch the entire sequence of (did I mention “violent”?) events through Harry’s bionic eyes. In fact, just about everything of Harry is bionic. So naturally he is physically super-capable, never misses a shot, is amazing at fist fighting. leaps over tall objects, escapes burning vehicles, and just never gives up. When the film started with a chase sequence I thought “Oh, the usual gimmick to get my attention at the beginning”. But the chase sequence NEVER ENDS.

Possibly there is a plot in there somewhere, but darn if I could figure out just exactly what was happening.

You do get the opportunity to put yourself in Harry’s place and be surrounded for possibly 10 minutes by  voluptuous, ample breasted,  naked women. Probably not a film for children.

You should have some time to waste before watching Harry (who cannot speak) do his thing. Isn’t it great to be a retired film watcher!

2014, Action Film, Action Hero, B-movie, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bloody scenes, Car Chase, Digital Effects, Drug Dealers, Drugs, Mayhem, Often downright silly, Psychedelic Visual Effects, Ridiculous plot, Strange Ending, Violent

Lucy (2014)

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From NetFlix:

In this action-thriller set in Taiwan, a young woman forced to become a drug mule for the mob develops superhuman abilities when the narcotics she’s carrying in her stomach accidentally leak into her system.

Way back in 1968 a certain subset of our population would ingest some psychedelic substance and sit for hours watching the flashing colors in the film “2001: A Space Odyssey.” But now welcome to the 21st century where you could do the same participant-watching with the mostly visual film “Lucy.” And it might as well be called a digital-visual adventure because the plot and many impossible action sequences are straight out of vaudeville.

Whatever was Morgan Freeman thinking? Scarlett Johansson at least has a history of appearing in strange films. For example, she was the voice of a computer (Samantha) in “Her”. Also she was a predatory alien in “Under the Skin.” Let us hope these actors made a lot of money while diminishing their reputations.

So why did I bother finishing the film? There are two choices: a) I was bored out of my mind, or b) I hoped that eventually the film would make sense, alas!

You probably don’t have the time for this psychedelic wonder.

2007, Anti-Arab, B-movie, Barely Acceptable Trash, Bloody scenes, Ethical struggles, Father-son relations, Grisly, Horror, Iraq War, Mental Illness, Murder, PTSD, Ridiculous plot, Violent, War, War Veterans

Stir of Echoes 2 (2007)

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From IMDB:

A soldier returns home from the Iraq war only to be haunted by visions of the dead.

Rob Lowe must have been desperate to play in this horror B-film. At least one of the sub-themes is anti-Arab prejudice resulting from the war in Iraq, which at the time of this review when Donald Trump is spewing out so much hate, is quite relevant. Except for that, however, all the gory monster appearances are not worth your time.

Oddly enough, the acting is good.

Skip this one.

2011, 2012, Acceptable Trash, Action Film, Action Hero, Amnesia, CIA, Complicated, Computer geeks, Conspiracy, Corruption, Imperfect, Love Story, Mediocre, Netflix Streaming, Nothing special, Often downright silly, Political Suspense, Ridiculous plot, Somewhat ridiculous plot, Suspense, Terrible acting, Thriller, Unrealistic, Violent

XIII: The Series (2011)

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From Netflix:

A highly trained former secret operative cannot remember his past. To rediscover it, he must take on missions from those he cannot trust.

Each of season one and season two offer 13 episodes. All 26 episodes may be streamed from Netflix. Would you really do that?

Stuart Townsend (who was Jack McAllister in the TV series “Betrayal”) plays Agent XIII, a super human who almost never loses a fight, who leaps onto running trains, who comes back from torture with nary a scratch, and so on. Remember the old weekly movie series: At the end of episode N our hero is in a terrible jam and about to perish. At the beginning of episode N+1 our hero moves on the next challenge. Just suspend disbelief and watch XIII and his sidekick Jones (played by Aisha Tyler) battle moles in the CIA, a corrupt ex-President, sadistic assassins, paranoid survivalists, and the list goes on.

If you can do other things (such as fold laundry) while you watch one of the innumerable episodes, at least the time spent will not be a complete loss.

2014, Acceptable for children, Based on a Book, Corny at times, Digital Effects, Fantasy, Feel Good For All, Horse story, Love Story, Magic Realism, Religious Theme, Ridiculous plot, Sex Scenes, Supernatural, Unusual, Use of Irish Brogue, Violent

Winter’s Tale (2014)

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From Netflix;

Mark Helprin’s novel provides the basis for this film starring Colin Farrell as a thief who breaks into an ill girl’s home and then falls for her. As the action shifts between past and present, the burglar also acquires a flying-horse guardian angel.

Possibly because we had just returned from our daughter’s castle wedding in Ireland, the Irish brogues spoken in this film were music to my ears. We are used to hearing Colin Farrell (as Peter Laks) speaking brogue but this is the first time I have heard Russell Crowe (as the daemon Pearly Soames) also using an Irish brogue. Crowe makes a convincing villain.

Herein is a fantasy fairy-tale for adults. Just when things are going badly, up pops yet another miracle. Sometimes this magic realism seems comical without intending to be funny. Expect some corny dialog.

Will Smith is an unconvincing Lucifer.

Among older actors we find William Hurt. But the biggest such surprise was the “Adult Willa” played by none other than Eva Marie Saint (Edie Doyle in “On the Waterfront”) who is now 90 years old.

Would someone please tell Colin Farrell to get and keep a decent hair cut?

Remember now – it’s all a bit silly.

2006, Acceptable Trash, B-movie, Corny at times, Crude Talk, Love Story, Nudity, Revenge, Ridiculous plot, Sex Scenes, Slapstick

My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006)

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From Netflix:

Fed up with his manipulative girlfriend, Jenny Johnson (Uma Thurman), New Yorker Matt Saunders (Luke Wilson) gives her the heave-ho and moves on with his life, leaving the heartbroken Jenny — aka G-girl — to do everything within her superpowers to humiliate Matt. Anna Faris, Rainn Wilson and Eddie Izzard co-star in director Ivan Reitman’s slapstick fantasy comedy about a bitter superwoman scorned.

In a moment of TV Wasteland desperation, Kathy and I happened upon this comedy on one of our many HBO channels. Kathy sniffed in disdain and then joined me in laughing at some of the great sight gags. To be sure, this is a B-film which can be silly, vulgar, corny, and still funny enough to be worth the watch.

Much of the humor centers around sex (shocking, right?). Sex with a powerful super hero woman anyone ? Sex while flying in the sky anyone ? What’s not to like ?

Uma Thurman, Luke Wilson, and Rainn Wilson (Dwight Schrute of “The Office”) are featured in the cast.

Have some off-color fun!