Velvet Buzzsaw (2019)

From Netflix:

A feared critic, an icy gallery owner and an ambitious assistant snap up a recently deceased artist’s stash of paintings — with dire consequences.

From Netflix you can stream this 1 hour 52 minute horror of a film.

Perhaps the first horror is that  an accomplished actor such as Jake Gyllenhaal allowed himself to appear in this schlock festival.  Perhaps the second horror is that I allowed myself to watch the entire mess.

Imagine Gyllenhaal appearing as an effete, almost effeminate bisexual art critic. At first I did not recognize him.  As a first guess maybe he needed the money. Or maybe he just wanted to add a horror film to his remarkable resumé.

If there is an underlying theme in the film, it is that the collective of art critics here are a rare species that speak an inscrutable art language consisting of meaningless gibberish while all the time they are really only interested in fooling their clients into spending vast sums of money.

Alas, their greed is their undoing!

If you can afford to waste two hours of your life, then have at it!

 

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